'been thinking about...grey hair!

I recently came across an article that seemed to re-iterate some thoughts I've had in the back of my mind for a while on this topic.  

http://www.theage.com.au/small-business/trends/blogs/the-big-idea/why-dont-women-go-grey-20140612-39zxy.html

So far I've only had a few grey hairs turn up - in fact I remember noticing my first ones over six years ago and I then had quite a number appear and I thought that I would be completely grey before long at that rate...... and then it seemed they disappeared and hardly anymore have come.  I'm not sure what is going on there, but it raised the issue for me of the reality of grey hair.

One of the issues raised in the article is about our desire to avoid the realities of aging and wanting to stay 'forever young'.  In the West, 'young' is seen as 'better' and thus more honourable than 'old'. People seem to want to avoid being seen as 'old' or feeling 'old'. This troubles me when I read in God's word that grey hair is given for a 'glory' (honour) and is nothing to be ashamed of or hidden.

Gray hair is a crown of glory..

(Proverbs 16:31 ESV)

The glory of young men is their strength,

but the splendor of old men is their gray hair.

(Proverbs 20:29 ESV)

"You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God: I am the LORD.

(Leviticus 19:32 ESV)

Living in another country and culture has been a great opportunity to see how that grey hair is traditionally seen as something to be respected and honoured rather than despised.  This seems to be more in line with what God desires than what we see currently in the 'West'.

Here are some quotes from the newspaper article that warrant some pondering, especially for us as Christians.....

"If you're covering up your physical attributes and what makes you a unique person, ultimately you're trying to be someone you're not. If you get your hair colour from a bottle, you're going to have the same hair colour as thousands of other people," she says, explaining that it's perhaps healthier to learn to accept yourself as you really are, rather than present yourself as someone you're not.

O'Donoghue says going grey is not about letting yourself go. "Exercise and keeping your mind active are productive ways to approach getting older; you also don't have to cave into physical ailments. But other activities like cosmetic surgery and perhaps dying your hair are more about denial, conformity, or an active non-acceptance of what is a very natural part of life," she says. 

O'Donoghue says one way to move towards an acceptance of ageing is for us to speak more openly about death and aging, rather than pretend it's not going on.

"People don't accept ageing and death as natural parts of life. Perhaps people are frightened of their own mortality. Yet all of us are on a one-way journey to [the grave]. Another way to encourage acceptance is to stop isolating older people from society by sticking them away in nursing homes," she says.

The idea being that if we see more people with grey hair around us, rather than pretend they don't exist, we'll more easily be able to accept our own ageing process and ultimate demise. "We may even develop a greater sense of compassion for the elderly and frail as we may begin to see ourselves in them."

In our society we tend to glorify youth and all that comes with it, and shun older people. But if we acknowledged the entire human experience, rather than focus on the youthful and gorgeous, we won't feel so bad when we find our first grey hairs and wrinkles.

I was challenged by this article, since, as Christians we should be examples to the world around us of a confidence and contentment to be who God created us to be.

• We don't need to be frightened of our mortality, when we have great hope beyond the grave.  (I am reminded of how the medical staff were really impacted when my Grandma was dying, that she was so calm about just letting her body take its natural course rather than be so desperate to undergo every possible intervention no matter how slim the chances were of positive effect - as so many other people are).  As Christians we should be the one with courage and calmness to embrace each stage of life.
• We should be examples of loving and caring for the elderly in our society and being unashamed to have them as part of our lives.  
• We should be unashamed to be and be seen as the age we are by those around us. If getting older is not shameful before God, we have no reason to be ashamed.
• We also should be not so self-focused that we 'stick them away in nursing homes' so we can get on with our lives.  I worked in an Aged Care Facility and know all too well about families who have relatives in such places with hardly a thought for them.   

God gives us all our days - from the frailty of infancy to the frailty of old age and everywhere in between - and no stage of life is 'more important' than any other in God's eyes.  Here, a secular article is calling our society to 'acknowledge the entire human experience', and yet what are we saying to the world by our words and actions as Christians about it?
Living overseas, separated by oceans from my mum and one remaining grandparent, if anything, I have realised even more deeply the value of spending time around those who are 'getting on in years'.  Oh how I miss the opportunity to just sit and chat and learn more from my almost 92 year old Grandma.  She has a perspective on life and what's important and not important in the light of the experience of 92 years that's not something to dismiss or take lightly.  In fact, could I be so bold to suggest that our Western culture's general negative attitude toward aging and the elderly is a reflection on the pride and arrogance of a generation who is too foolish to benefit to the maximum from the wisdom that can come from those who have the ability to look back so far in personal experience and world events.  

From one who has felt the reality of not having the ability to spend the amount of time I would like to these past 13 years with my Grandma and mum (and dad before he died), I would encourage others to make a conscious effort to make time to spend with the older generations, to make it a priority to enable kids to build good relationships with their grand-parents and have as much time as possible with them.  Let them grow to know that those with grey hair have got more that can enrich their lives than they realise.  Let them value and embrace the elderly as God would have them do, and let us set the right example for those kids who are watching us, and will follow our example - good or otherwise. 

Instead of just 'acknowledging' our entire human experience, as Christians, lets go one step further and celebrate and rejoice in each stage of life - in our own lives and the lives of others and with thankfulness receive the blessing that God intends each 'age stage' to be!

(This issue is not entirely unrelated to one which has also been in my thoughts for a while now - and that is of whether our modern society where the 'elderly' don't live with their children, is actually really the most 'God-honouring' way to live?- Living in a culture where the elderly still live either in the same house or in the same yard as the extended family, since to my knowledge there are no 'old-age' homes in Botswana at all, has had a way of prompting me to think more deeply about this.  In the West, there are some ways in which we have come to assume our 'independance' in old age is a good thing and that it is somehow 'less' to live with your kid's family, either in a room of the house or attached 'Granny-flat'.  But are we losing valuable life-learning opportunities, character building situations, even sharing of house-keeping/child-care/financial burdens and a great many opportunities to give and receive love in the process?.....what do you think?)

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net".