How much of culture can we keep?

This is a question that is often in the mind of missions.

There is a concern that the baby of culture might get thrown out with the bathwater of sin.  But we also need to be alert to the dangers of letting contaminated dirty bathwater stick around.  

Missionaries in the past have been accused of imposing or expecting a 'western' Christianity and 'pressing' other cultures into a western mould with a bunch of legalistic western cultural 'rules'.  Yet on the other hand we can be so 'free' with allowing a local culture to dictate local Christianity that what results is varying degrees of syncretistic Christianity.  Both can be devoid of the true purity of the gospel as it is meant to shine through the uniqueness of each person and cultural context.  This is a question of importance on the missiological level as well as on the simple straightforward discipleship level.

I recently had a small group of workplace managers ask me some questions during a workshop session and this question of 'what to keep of culture', came up.  They were trying to get their heads around what it means to be a Christian and still African, and how to decide what of culture a Christian can keep and what they should lose. They were keen to understand how that fit with their identity as Africans.

As I attempted to give an answer from the perspective of three guiding principles,  each point below seemed to help the members of the group.  Let me share them with you since they not only relate to Africa, but to every human being, including you and me.

As a Christian:

1. I have a new Identity

What's my identity? 

As Christians we have to realise we are Christian first and then our earthly culture - I am a Christian Australian, not an Australian Christian.  Our identity is in Christ - who we are and our value is found in Him.  We are now part of His family and His culture.  

We have been re-born into a new identity, heritage and future.  We are co-heirs with Christ of His righteousness and honour.  We are a child of the King, adopted as a son of our Father. Our citizenship has changed to God's Kingdom. (Galatians 4: 5-7, Rev 11:15)

2. I have a new Standard.

• God and His Truth is the Standard  by which my life is to be measured - not any earthly standard.

• Whatever is in our worldview frame-of-reference on any aspect of life, has to be submitted and evaluated and replaced by what God says in His word.  What agrees with God's word will require less adjustment in our lives than what doesn't, but all of our life must always and continually be subject to God's truth.  

• Whenever there is a difference between what we (individually or communally/culturally) believe and do, and what God says, we have to let go of our ideas and agendas and go God's way.  

I then gave another example to try to help them understand.  Since we were made in the image of God to reflect His character and person, we are similar to an image in a mirror.  But the image is marred by sin.  It's as if the mirror has a horrible dirty smear all over it.  Now the image is not a clear reflection.  Some areas of the image are almost totally clear and others are totally obscured and not visible, and some are in-between.  

It's a bit like each earthly culture is a different smear pattern.  Some aspects in some cultures still exhibit fairly clear reflection of how God wants us to be and live while other aspects are showing almost no resemblance to God's design at all.  What is clear in one culture may be badly smeared in another.  But even if two smeared images match in one area, it doesn't make them 'right' just because they agree.  All our smeared marred images need to be evaluated and cleaned up according to what God says in His word and revealed to us through His Son. Then it is to be lived out in us through His Spirit.  

We need to understand that no earthly culture or person has a clear image.  We all have to measure off a new standard of perfect holiness, and allow our lives to truly reflect the image of Christ. As we grow in the knowledge of God and in holiness through ongoing repentance and faith Scripture tells us we will grow from one degree of glory to another. (2 Corinthians 3:18)  Only then will the image more and more shine forth the full light of Christ.

3. I need a New Mind to live a New Life

We all need renewed minds and changed lives.

Our conscience is not preset to define right and wrong according to God's definition of right and wrong.  

Many people believe that a person's conscience is pre-programmed to know what God does and doesn't want, and that everyone just knows what God says is right and wrong.  However, while we are all born with a conscience, the conscience is more like a judge than a set of lawbooks.  A judge makes decisions based on what is in the lawbooks. As we grow we all develop a personal (generally reflective of cultural) set of lawbooks of what we deem to be right and wrong, good and evil.  Our conscience makes judgements based on this. 

When we do what our lawbooks say is 'right' our conscience is 'clear' and comfortable.  When we don't do what our lawbooks say, and we do 'wrong', our conscience condemns and convicts us and tells us we are guilty for 'transgressing' our law, and it is uncomfortable.

When we become a Christian its like we move to a new country with a new set of lawbooks that we have to learn.  We have to 'unlearn' the old lawbooks and learn the new.  The data by which the conscience makes judgements has to change.  

Our minds have to be renewed - that is how we will no longer be conformed to the world but be transformed in our thinking.  The old data - twisted, distorted and darkened by Satan's lies, needs to be replaced by the truth and light of God's word. Only then can the conscience function differently.  It is then that the Holy Spirit can remind us and apply to our hearts how this new knowledge has to live out in our daily lives.

That is what repentance is all about: - to change our mind about what we think is "right and wrong", resulting in a change to how we act. The conscience is like the judge and guard as it alerts us to discomfort and danger if we do what we know to be wrong....we just have to make diligent effort to understand what is right and wrong by God's standard and definition.  

Whatever culture we are from, we have to realise that our minds need renewing and our lives need changing.  

No human being or culture has a naturally godly set of data files in the mind for our conscience to act on.  We choose what we fill our minds with and thus how our conscience will be influenced.  This is all the more reason why we need to set our minds on things above, to think on whatsoever is pure, right, good,  etc.   (Philippians 4:8)

If we want our conscience to help us live godly lives that honour God, we have to give our conscience godly data in the mind, as its reference point. We all need new lawbooks and knowledge of them - ie. we all need God's word and to grow in the knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ through the Word. (2 Peter 3:18, Romans 12:2) It takes time, effort, diligence and perseverance and courage to be counter cultural as God requires. 

So how much culture can we keep?  

- Only what measures up with God's standard of holiness.  Whatever does not obscure but reflects His character, shines forth His light, and clearly reveals His image in our lives.

But some cultures have slightly clearer 'less smeared' sections of the image of what God wants for us to be than others. But no culture is without  a smeared image.  Our 'less smeared' parts enable us to see God's plan for us in those areas more clearly - but the deal is that we don't know what is 'less smeared' or 'more smeared' until we compare it with the perfect image of Christ who was God in the flesh and the fulfillment of the Law - the truth which is revealed to us in Scripture. The Living Word is revealed in the Written Word.  

We are called to be salt and light. We are called to be in the world but not of the world. We are called to not be captive to the traditions of men, no matter what earthly culture we come from.  

Let's live according to our new-birth-culture and our eternal citizenship.

Smartphone and technology - Lessons from their Power to Probe our Privacy

The New York Times recently ran an article about the court case between Apple and FBI in regard to 'legal' access to hack into smart phones.  The article concluded with the following about our increasingly technological 'smartphone' world:

The Internet of Things will follow a similar path. Employers and insurance companies may require you to wear health-tracking devices. It may become impossible to find cars without cameras and sensors. Every fridge will come with cameras inside whether you like it or not.

"From a historical perspective, we're entering into a very new era," said Jennifer Granick, director of civil liberties at the Stanford Center for Internet and Society. Not long ago, we were living in a world in which surveillance was difficult. "In the past, you and I would have a conversation in person. No record would be made; nobody would have access to it. I wrote things on paper; I burned them in my fireplace. They were gone forever."

But in the absence of technical and legal protections, technology is upturning those presumptions.

"Now we have a surveillance-enabled world," Ms. Granick said. "It's cheap, and it's easy. The question that society has to ask is, Is that what we really want?"

The content of the article certainly bears careful consideration.

It's easy to respond with fear - but instead we should respond with careful consideration of the circumstances and trust in our Creator.

It's easy to respond with blind acceptance - but instead we should respond with care and caution looking beyond immediate pleasure and convenience to future consequences.  We will reap what we sow, so we need to be careful what we are sowing.

But it is good to think about the lessons we can learn.

1.The fear of 'eyes and ears' observing and recording our every move is 'small stuff'.

 If we are fearful of being 'listened in' to in all our life and conversations, how much more should we be fearful of the what God our eternal Judge can do.   This exposure and recording of our lives is just a drop in the ocean in comparison to what God will do on judgement day. One day our every idle and careless word will be played back.  Don't totally dismiss this fear of exposure without examining it in the light of the ultimate eternal exposure.  This is a challenge for our own lives, but also maybe a means to help people to actually tune into their fear and to bring a greater awareness of the fear they should have of God, who can do more than an earthly court and will decide whether we have eternal acceptance in God's presence or eternal rejection from Him forever.

2. What a privilege we have in Christ.  While we can fear all the stuff we have ever done and said, we can gain comfort from the fact that if we are forgiven in Christ, our sin is gone forever.  Though God has the power to bring every recording back, He chooses not to take the opportunity to incriminate us yet again.   He chooses to not ever use that evidence against us ever again.  We don't need to fear that.  Sin forgiven is sin removed - while we may still feel its effects here on earth and 'remember' it to be able to learn lessons from it, as far as eternal record is concerned, it is gone. Yes we will be judged in regard to our 'works' for the purposes of rewards, but our 'sin' list for the purposes of eternal condemnation has been wiped clean.  God not only has the perfect record to lay accusation at the feet of the sinner, but He also has the perfect eraser so that as saints, our 'slate' is clean. There is no hidden hard-drive record or 'cloud' to pull data from.  We don't deserve it, but we have been given the verdict 'clean' - no dirt to dig up on this one!  Let the growing levels of insecurity in our world (even from the risks of exposure through devices in our homes), remind you of your eternal security in Christ.

We have no need to fear those who can kill the body or destroy a reputation or expose the'nakedness' of our private moments, not when we have chosen instead to fear the One who has the power over eternal life and death and we have come to Him in repentance and faith and know His forgiveness.  Instead we are now the objects and recipients of His love, clothed in the righteousness of His Son.

Yes, be careful, be cautious, and be wise with technology - don't be so consumed with today's pleasure and ease that you are blind to future destructive consequences....BUT also remember to fear God, more than man and his methods or machines.  And let that fear either drive you to repentance if you have not yet allowed the Saviour of the World to rescue you from sin, or let it drive you to love and thankfulness if you do know the Saviour.

Beauty in Barrenness and Barrenness in Blessing

The title might seem a bit confusing but let me explain what I mean.

The changes in our garden recently caused me to learn a couple of lessons:

1st lesson

September to December 2015 were 4 extremely dry and hot months - some of the driest months in 34 years the meteorology department said.  But during this time the big beautiful pink bougainvillea at the edge of our porch was the most spectacular I had ever seen it.

2nd lesson

But then the rain came and the temperatures cooled, and something interesting happened....

That's right - there are now no bougainvillea flowers at all to be seen!

Isn't this just like other aspects of life?  So here are the two things which stand out to me and the lessons they taught me: 

1. It's often in the difficulties and trials that we find the richest joys of following Christ.  We can yearn for times to be smoother and more comfortable and we welcome those times when they come, but it may not be those times when the 'awesome stuff' happens.  The most intense experience and reminders of God's wonder, faithfulness and greatness are often what accompanies the tough times.  It is those times when He brings treasures of darkness and joys in the valleys as we partake of His goodness in special ways.  Ways in which they show up all the more splendidly in our hearts because of the contrast of the dry backdrop of the circumstances.

2. These cooler days and refreshing rain are definitely what is needed to bring a sense of quiet respite and renewal for both the plants and ourselves, but they are just that - needed quiet renewal times.  Spectacular displays and vivid drama don't have to be constant companions. At the moment the garden looks pleasant, but fairly 'ordinary' and 'plain'.  The rain is bringing a different type of colour - not vivid masses of bougainvillea but steady spreads of green - green ground-covers and grass and a greater abundance of green leaves on the trees.  That solid steady growth is what will later on bring its own gentle display of colour as the plants build growth, deepen roots and engorge their bulbs.

In both times there are particular types of 'barren-ness' - either barren-ness of 'colour' or of 'green'.  Both seasons also have their blessings - one of masses of vivid colour and one of coolness and rain.  One brings reminders of God's greatness through stunning beauty in the desert times, the other brings reminders of God's steady provision and enabling growth.

We need both seasons of our lives, and I hope I'm learning from the bush beauty around me to entrust the times and boundaries of those seasons to the Lord. I notice how easy it is in the dry but spectacular bougainvillea times to desire 'more green,  and in the 'green' times to desire more stunning bougainvillea. But it is my desire to rather gain the richest benefit from both situations, and in thankful contentment with both, according to God's plan and purposes.  

What is the season of life for you just now, in which you need to develop thankful contentedness alongside a desire to maximise the season and its purposes?

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF - LOVE YOURSELF ???

A couple of days back a short email devotional was forwarded to me.

It was about the need to follow Jesus' example and take care of ourselves and love ourselves - using the story of the woman pouring out her Alabaster jar of oil onto Jesus shortly before his crucifixion. (Matthew 2)  It was said the story was showing that Jesus accepted others' care for him and thus we should be eager to accept others' care for us as we need others to 'top up' our love jars. It then went on to say that others will treat us the way we treat ourselves and so if we want others to love us we have to love ourselves first.  Essentially it was raising the whole issue of 'self-love'.  

I was saddened to read it due to various issues, not least the poor exegesis, lack of reading in context, and the permeation of secular psychological thinking purporting to be biblical instruction. 

But....

......as I thought more about it, the more I realised the extent to which mis-placed honour has soaked into our Western mind-set and influenced even many Christians.  

It reminded me just how important it is to have a right understanding of what it means to honour God and be honoured in Christ.  Without that, our lives so easily get into a tangled web of distorted teaching that can lead us off into such confusion and delusion and eventually frustration, exhaustion and disillusionment.

I want to draw out several excerpts and some of the issues that emerge from it related to the idea of self-love, and how they relate to the importance of having a right perspective on honour. 

A right biblical perspective of honour will help in understanding God's word, whereas a secular perspective of honour can cheat us of a proper understanding of God's word, and thus cheat us of knowing and experiencing the truth of it joyfully living out through our lives.

I realise again, how vital it is that the 'pillars of honour' spoken about in the recent blog  - approval, acceptance and significance, are included in biblical context in the process of discipleship.

1.  Jesus did not accept the gift of the poured out oil from a need to take care of himself due to self-love 

Jesus did take care of himself, in that He took time to rest for example.  He also did allow others to minister to him, but we must not forget that part of that was worship - something we are definitely not called to give others or accept from others.  Jesus was not indulging in self-love, and He did not come as an example of the need for self-love.  He was the perfect example of how to give love - to His Father and to people around Him in the way the Father wanted Him to.  Any love and worship He accepted from people was deflected to the Father. (John 14)

The very act of the woman (Mary - see also Luke 7) pouring out the contents of the Alabaster box was about Jesus allowing her to give Him honour, adoration, love and worship - to show that she valued Him more than anything, even her most valued possessions. 

This was about much more than 'caring' - it was about 'honouring'. 

If this passage was meant to teach us to self-love, then Jesus should have wanted the woman to love herself first and not pour out her oil but to keep it for her own pleasure and use first so she had done some 'self-loving' first... and then when she felt she had done enough of that to then consider sharing it.  But He didn't. He allowed her to give it, not because he was primarily accepting the 'care' of someone else, but because he was pleased with her giving of herself to Him by the giving of a possession that was most precious to her. He then used it  to contrast that what might be seen as a shameful waste by the eyes of those around her, was an honourable gift to her Lord.  

This is a lesson in understanding that even though the world may ridicule and despise us for giving Jesus our best and putting our own welfare, pleasure and financial security aside, in Jesus' eyes we are approved and honoured for giving Him honour.

2. Taking care of ourselves does not require 'self-love' 

The devotion made a statement that some people don't know how to take care of themselves. And as I have found in counselling, this is often because people don't understand what principles God has in His word for directing and motivating that care. Often our reasons - our motives - are misplaced.

The reality of life is that apart from Christ, we naturally don't do anything else except love ourselves.  Even those of us who are busy 'helping' others, can be doing it for the wrong reasons, such as: 

• We gain a sense of importance and value from the praise and appreciation of others and so we are driven to do what others will praise us for in order to gain a sense of value. But we are actually mis-placed in our thinking -- we are looking to people instead of God for our sense of value and worth.  
• We can also be 'busy' because we idolise hard work and have given ourselves to live under a bondage that drives us to overwork in an effort to feel satisfied with ourselves - again we are looking for worth in our achievements and in reaching our own set goals instead of in Christ - we are looking to be 'successful' in our own eyes according our self-appointed expectations, rather than seeking what God wants us to do and to be satisfied and rejoicing in that.  
• Or we can be so busy that we are not properly taking care of ourselves because we feel culturally obligated to honour others, especially elders. We are so busy fulfilling the expectations of people all over the place, so that we will remain accepted by them and the group we want to be a part of, that we are not allowing the time that God would want to take care of what He has given us - including our bodies. 

• We all, at various times, fall into the trap of the view of: 'What will people think of me if I don't do this or that?'

Each motivation is actually a 'loving self' motivation - it is seeking a sense of emotional well-being, of acceptance, of approval, and of significance....apart from God's approval, God's acceptance and our significance in God's creation and God's family.  We overstrain ourselves and increase our stress and thus our health suffers and we haven't actually taken care of ourselves on God's terms and in God's eyes.

3. Neither self-love nor love from others should be the ultimate source of our significance

The devotion said that 'in order for your cup of service to stay full it must continually be refilled' [by people], and it referenced Psalm 23 'you anoint my head with oil, my cup runs over'.  

BUT WHO 

is the Psalmist saying anoints his head with oil and enables his cup to run over?  God.  Not people.  

This is a Psalm about God being our Shepherd.  Yes, He may choose to 'fill our cup' at times through the encouragement of others or through the gifts of others but ultimately it is GOD, not people, who are sustaining us.

It is not people we have to look to for 'filling our cup', but God Himself, however He wants to do it.  To say we must have people, is to say that God isn't enough, and is not sufficient and able.  We have a great, amazing almighty God, but we often live as if He is not that at all.  We often live as if people are our sustainer and saviour - we elevate people into the position that is God's alone.  We get pre-occupied with seeking approval, acceptance and significance from people instead of from God.

We must be sure to trust in God Himself as our Creator and King, and not in His creation and creatures, no matter how significant a means they may be.  Idolatry is a subtle temptation and we must beware!

4. We can have a mis-placed understanding of what it means to 'deny ourselves' and thus find the idea of 'self-love' to be attractive  

Instead of Scripture telling us to love ourselves, it tells us to deny ourselves (Luke 9:23).  In fact Jesus said that if we are not prepared to deny ourselves we CANNOT be His disciple.  Those are pretty strong words. 

But we can think that denying ourselves is ignoring ourselves according to our own wisdom and understanding. In the process we can ignore the responsibilities God has given us.  

If I am a father or mother and I neglect taking care of my body as I should as much as I am able,  it could cause medical problems or disease and result in an inability to fulfill the role of parent as God calls me to.  Of if I don't drink enough water or eat enough to strengthen my body and brain, I cannot give my best at work and are thus cheating my boss from what he is paying me to do...and subsequently not honouring God as an employee.

I can also fail to recognise that God has given us His world to enjoy.  We are meant to enjoy what God wants us to enjoy, and praise and glorify Him in it.  We are meant to go out for a refreshing walk on a starry night and look up and enjoy what we see and have our hearts lift in praise and thankfulness and adoration for God's greatness, eternal presence, and beauty of His creation. We are meant to enjoy the sounds of the birds and the taste of good food and the hug of a friend and the smell of roses. We are not meant to deny ourselves all access to what is 'good' and think such practices are automataically holy.  

So what are we meant to 'deny'?

• Rather we are to deny ourselves self-centredness and selfishness

• We are to deny ourselves self-pity. 

• We are to deny ourselves the position of 'No.1', of determiner of our days and decisions, or the right to rule our lives and decide for ourselves what is right and wrong.  

• We are to deny anything evil to have influence in our lives no matter how attractive its short term pleasures might be .  

• We are to deny our own wisdom, our own agendas, even our own plans as to how to 'achieve God's will'.  

• We are to deny even good things that morph from being places of thankfulness and praise to places/objects of rights and demands and highest priority, addiction and obsession. 

• Food is good, alcohol is permissible, but the enjoyment of either one, or anything else, must be denied for ourselves when it is no longer our servant but becomes our master, or is affecting our bodies in such a way that we compromise the care of our bodies for God's honour.

• We are to deny anything that gets in the way of God having highest honour - 1st place  and priority - in our lives, anything that is elevating ourselves, our wants, our desires into a position that only God should occupy.

That is what it means to 'deny ourselves'.  

5. Love according to my own definition of 'love' or the world's definition of 'love' will set me up for bigger problems 

One of the biggest problems in our world is our false definition of love. When we fail to define the meaning of love from God who is love, and subconsciously imbibe the world's idea, we walk a path of self-destruction, not anywhere near what true 'love' is all about.

If I insist on 'loving myself' by enjoying the pleasure of eating lots of sweet things, so much that I end up with diabetes which results in blindness and amputation of limbs so that I cannot work or care for my family, then I haven't honoured God by taking care of what God gives me. 

Loving myself is not praised, commanded or encouraged in Scripture - it is a reality that is assumed we all naturally do in our old nature.  The basis of our sin is that we love ourselves instead of loving God. We usurp the place of God in our affections. Idolatry is inherent in our sinful nature, a nature that according to Romans 7 that we will battle with till we leave this earth.

If there is one thing we know how to do well in our humanness, it is to love ourselves.  But we have made two big mistakes if we think God wants us to 'love ourselves' as our world encourages us to do so.

The first is there is no such command - we have actually added/replaced God's command to love Him, with our own first command to love ourselves. 

The second is that we have also replaced the meaning of love with the world's meaning.   The direction and the definition of our love is mis-placed.

Rather, we are called to take care of ourselves not because we are to love ourselves but because we are to give honour to what God gives honour.  God created us and thus as His creation, we have inherent value. 

We dishonour God when we don't value what He values.  

We dishonour God when we don't take care of what He has entrusted us to take care of, and take care of it His way.  

The very first commandment God gave humanity (Adam) was to rule over the whole earth and govern it as God wanted according to God's will. (Gen 1:28)  When we take care of the world, including our own bodies so that they will function according to God's design, we honour Him. When we don't, we dishonour Him.  When we fail to rest or have proper nutrition or practice proper cleanliness or do proper exercise, we are neglecting to give adequate care to the bodies God has given us.

Yes, our increasingly 'modernised' world is being engulfed by the idea that 'busy' is somehow Godly.  We think 'busy' is the righteous opposite to 'lazy'.  But it is not.  

God doesn't require us to be busy, He requires us to be obedient.  

And if that obedience involves taking time to rest so that we can serve Him adequately, so we must rest.   If it involves us working hard to get a job done to a standard of excellence to God's glory, so we must work hard.  If it involves us taking the time to have conversation with people to disciple, encourage and build them up instead of rushing to our own personal agendas so we must do so.  

6. Jesus told those who asked, that the greatest commandment was to love God, and then the second was to love others 

There are not three commands, with an additional first one to love ourselves.  

As we have already said, loving ourselves is our sinful 'given'.  

Rather what we need to do is to love God by doing what he asks us to do, and in doing so and always ensuring that we are doing His will, we will by default be the recipients of His care and love.  

We are not to strive to develop 'self-love' but strive to be in the place where we can know and experience the abundant care and love of God Himself.  

When we strive for self-love we sell ourselves way short, and in the process we are essentially despising God's love toward us.  We are saying our love for ourselves and our understanding of what love should be is of higher value and greater importance than God's love for us.  We are saying that what we can give to ourselves is greater than what God can give to us!  That is the opitome of pride and blasphemy! 

To say 'Who'll give back to you, if not you?' (as the devotion says), is saying that God's love toward us in insufficient.  It's saying that God is lying when He promises that 'my grace is sufficient for you'.   We are saying God is unfaithful, untruthful and not enough - we are saying (intentionally or unintentionally) our wisdom is better than God's and our ideas about life are better than God's. We are saying that our happiness and fulfilment in life is all up to us! We are just like Eve believing the lies of Satan in the Garden of Eden.  

Our hope and future is not something that rests on our own efforts of self-love, it rests in the power and provision of our almighty, loving Father.

7. Accepting help, and assistance and kindness from others is not about fulfilling a non-existent command to 'self-love'  

Instead its about being humble and accepting that we can't 'do it all' and we need others. 

It's about accepting that we are not lone individuals on our own agenda, but we are created to be part of community and need one another.  

In the body of Christ, its about allowing others to minister according to their gifts, which are all about benefitting the whole body.  

It's about humility.  

It's about not thinking we are the ones who are the only ones who can do the job well.  

It's about learning to be thankful.  

It's about allowing others to allow the Holy Spirit's fruit to 'feed' others and bless others.  

It's about accepting our own finiteness, and weakness. 

It's about experiencing God's grace that is given to the humble since God says He 'opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble'. (check out the previous blog about grace for more about what that wonderful word means!)

8. 'Lovers of self' is not in scripture as an example of holiness but as an example of sinful behaviour  

2 Timothy 3:4-6    says :

"For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconsilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God."

This is not a list of traits to aspire to or strive to produce in a community.  This is a list of sinful behaviours that destroy people, families and societies and will characterise the rampant sinfulness of the last days before Christ's return.  And what is first on the list?.....'loving yourself'.  If we are meant to resist temptation to sin, to flee from sin and to put sin to death, then we definitely should not be embracing 'self-love'.  We should be doing the exact opposite.
  

9. God's honour code is the opposite to ours 

He says to let go of seeking our own worth and proving our value and yearning for approval from those around us, because if we are willing to lose our life for God's sake and the gospel, it is then that we will find it.  

If we get busy trying to make our lives 'fulfilling' in loving ourselves, we will actually find ourselves losing our life, because we will have separated ourselves from God's route to true fulfillment, and the fulness of His love in our lives.  

We are called to deny ourselves  (Luke 9:23,24) - forsake our own desires and ideas for how to gain success, honour and approval - and follow Jesus and take the road of the cross.  

It is at the cross where we will find the most supreme honour and love - that from God Himself.  Why settle for less?

I would love to encourage you to download and read the free pdf version of an excellent, short, little, and easy to read book by South Africa Pastor Joel James on 'The Bible and Self-love".  Click HERE to view and download.

Also if you are able, I'd encourage you to read the following books:

'Embracing Obscurity' by Anonymous Anonymous

'The Freedom of Self-forgetfulness' by Tim Keller