Australia Day Fruit - paying attention to roots of identity and language confusion

As I look  from afar off in Africa, on this Australia Day….

What's going on?

Today is Australia Day! My birth country's national 'day'.

It's meant to be a day that brings every Australian together in unity and celebration in what some would call 'national pride', but some seem to want it to be a day of national 'shame'.

When I was a child I used to think that Aussies were pretty 'low-key' when it came to patriotism. In contrast I looked at America and thought it was quite 'over the top' in its national patriotism. Australia Day back then was a national holiday to give out Australia Day awards and citizenships, but not much else happened except maybe an excuse for another extended family picnic. Cheaply imported 'Aussie' paraphernalia seems to have changed all that.

HOWEVER, This year as I hang a simple Aussie flag in our home far away from Aussie shores, there are so many reasons I am thankful for being born an Aussie. I also watch scenes on Youtube from Aussie news broadcasters that show how some want to turn a happy national day into an angry day with a different name.

What's going on?

What can or should be done about it?

I am not going to try to give an answer on which day of the year should be Australia Day, or any other of the obvious controversial issues. Because I think this is something more than that.

Sometimes standing back and looking from a distance, can help.

Living cross-culturally for the last 23 years as also helped me learn to look at life and culture with fresh eyes….and pay attention to elements of cultural life that once upon a time I didn't even notice, or know I should look for. 

We also need to look below the surface and dig to root level if we want to address and solve root issues. Some might think these aren't root issues but just a lot of minority 'noise'. But root issues start at lower levels of a plant first and creep up to the top fruit level. We need to recognise the first signs of problems appearing in the fruit and address the problems early at the root…otherwise it will get so bad the only result is that the whole tree rots and falls or is taken down. And often the 'root' issues are actually 'soil' issues…as any gardener will tell us.

Here are two 'soil' issues I am seeing underneath the 'Australia Day Fruit'

1. Identity

Identity issues I have addressed many times on this blog. However, when our core human identity is not in Christ our Redeemer, and more deeply not even in God our Creator, we try to find it elsewhere. 

The first substitute is likely to be national identity and earthly citizenship. And because we no longer rest in our heavenly sourced identity and citizenship, we begin to rely on our earthly identity and citizenship.

But in God's scheme of things, while our earthly ethnicity and nationality is God-given, it is not meant to be the zenith of our identity as explained by American honour-shame scholar (and past Asian missionary) Brad Vaugn here on his recent blog post.  

There will be some from every ethnicity in heaven, but that is not because of the ultimate greatness of those ethnicities. It simply shows that ethnicity in no way excludes anyone from gaining a new and higher honour and identity in a new kingdom and citizenship - in Christ and His eternal holy Kingdom of glory. We no longer need to join an earthly nation (Israel) to be God's people, but we come into Christ, in whose Holy Spirit all ethnicities that were once separate, are now joined. 

We go from all being many nations under differing honour-code ethics which divide us, to all being under one Christ-directed set of holy honour code ethics that unite us. 

However, when we forget, ignore, deny, or are just plain blind, to God's Kingdom identity, 

we have no secure assurance of any identity….and so

 we will try to find a substitute, and then fight for it.

Many Australians have found their substitute identity in a mis-placed inferior earthly national identity and felt blindly 'safe' that it was a sufficient substitute for Kingdom Citizenship and they don't really need God in the 'lucky country'.

But along comes a problem…

When you settle for finding your deep human identity in a lower level substitute, suddenly you discover there are others at the same lower level as you also trying to find their human identity in the earthly ethnicity or nationality. Now there is no higher unifying identity for all. 

And what does this lead to?

Still a yearning for identity but one that leads to tribalism and fighting for supremacy of your tribe - whether that's your gender or your ethnicity or your sporting team, or gang, or profession, or whatever..

Meanwhile the soul of man knows there is something more is needed than just national earthly identity, in order to fulfill the deep longings of the heart.

And so we go looking for something to make us feel that deeper, elusive sense of honour. 

So what is the Aussie likely to do?….they go looking for what is a cultural honour-code pillar... fighting for the 'underdog' - ie the oppressed, the less fortunate or the vulnerable, shamed or neglected. If your world has moved to what is now tribalism and you want to do a culturally honourable thing and fight for the 'oppressed', what will you do?

You will find who you think is the 'oppressed' group and you fight for it …and you will think you are doing the most honourable important thing on the planet!

So you find your ultimate honour in trying to be a 'hero' in 'helping' the 'oppressed' group be 'heard', by increasing their voice to those who you think are not listening and oppressing the 'underdog'. 

Without God in your life, 

you fight for the ones you perceive or believe are the shamed ones, 

and try to shame the ones 

who are your opponents and who you believe are the oppressors.

The fact that it will never satisfy, the fact that it will only further divide and not unify, the fact that it is a shameful lie of the devil to keep you away from the true identity and honour available in God through Christ... you are blind to it all. You don't realise that in a misplaced honour-code that is no longer God's honour code, you will mis-take what is truly honour and what is truly shame, you will mistake what will truly unify and what will truly divide.

And to add to the subtlety of the devils lies, helping the oppressed is what we are called to do as Christians, but we have to make sure our definitions and interpretations of 'oppressed' are God's, and the way we do it is His way. We have to make sure also (even as Christians) that our identity is not found in our 'works', but in Christ.

It's not that we as human beings don't have things to be ashamed for. Before God, in particular, we all do. Some of what we see in our world today, is no doubt the reality that deep in every heart is an awareness that we are all in a place of shame and we should be ashamed of something we have done wrong and an identity we should mourn. 

We also want to alleviate our own sense of shame 

by pointing out, blaming and shaming others. 

We put others down to put ourselves 'up' in our own minds. 

But when we leave God out, we have no answer to why we feel shame for anything at all, and we have no answer to how to deal with the shame or to know what it is we really should be mourning. We end up being sucked into lies and substitutes that never satisfy and only confuse, disappoint and divide.

All because we are trying to find our identity in the wrong 'soil' source.

2. Language Confusion

The next issue that seems to be exposed in this mess is what I would call 'language confusion'. Australia only has one official national language - English. 

But in cross-cultural missions we often talk about communicating in a person's 'heart language'. A language is more than particular tones and sounds used to identify items and actions etc in communication, and which differ from culture to culture. Those are rooted in the Genesis 11 tower of Babel. We know such language differences need translation to enable the different language speakers to 'hear' each other. 

We could call that the 'what' of language.

But language is more than 'what'. 

It is also 'how' and 'why'. 

It's how we express what we mean and why we express it that way.

For example we talk about 'love languages' where different people who might all speak English could express their idea of love in different ways but still using English words. Such languages can also end up in mis-understanding and require 'translation'. There is a need to learn to understand the lens of how the other person 'sees' (and feels) love.

But there is another heart language issue that is so evident across our multi-cultural world. And its creating mis-understanding, stress, pain and conflict in a multitude of settings. 

Its the issue of the different heart languages of guilt-innocence and shame-honour. It's the languages of how we look at right and wrong, good and evil. It's the languages of the conscience, of motivation, of persuasion, of significance, of goals, of crime and punishment, of advocacy, of righteousness and sin.

Australia has a cultural conflict  - not just about Pro-Palestinians protesting on the streets, but in regard to ideology (beliefs) and theology (God) and thus also anthropology (humanity) and eschatology (future). It's not just about different ethnic cultures either, but also about generational cultures. Evangelist and Author Sam Chan has said how that younger generations in Australia have to be reached from the perspective that they think in 'shame-honour' terms rather than 'guilt-innocence' terms. This is a generation who has been raised not only in the soil of a God-denying society (without even an awareness of Creator or Redeemer rooted identity), but also in a social-media honour-shame fuelled world.

And in the process these two differing cultural focuses (worldviews) are talking in different languages about how to progress through these conflicts. They are speaking past each other. Neither are truly hearing the other, and thus both think the other one is blind, stupid, reckless and evil.

Now, don't get me wrong, 

what God says is evil is evil, and what God says is righteous is righteous. 

There is no debate to be had about that.

However, the lenses by which a person sees how to understand and explain right and wrong can differ. This impacts how we interpret the world, ourselves and even the Bible. When that lens is functioning in a mis-placed way, the problem of differences and divisions only increases.

The lenses in Australia (and in the wider western world) have some people shouting through 'shame' terms, and others shouting in 'guilt' terms. And both think they are right and that the other side is 'out of touch with reality'.

Let me explain -

The 'guilt-innocence' side is championing truth-restoration and thus the exposing of lies. They accuse the other side of telling lies, breaking promises and refusing the truth.

The 'shame-honour' side is championing honour-restoration (or they might use the term respect), and thus shame-removal. They accuse the other side of shameful behaviour and refusing to show respect.

This was highlighted to me in stark reality today.  I was catching up on Aussie news on this Australia Day on Youtube!….and the top news bulletin was talking all about truth, and the lies of broken promises. Just below it on Youtube was a news bulletin on a different Aussie TV channel about thousands marching in the streets to say it is not 'Australia Day' but 'Invasion Day'. That side's mantra is all about making the 'invaders' feel ashamed…so ashamed that they should change or cancel Australia Day being on January 26th.

So where to from here?

We have to start speaking the language of those we are trying to reach with the gospel.

Those who see life through honour-shame lenses primarily need to be spoken to in honour-shame terms. 

Truth is important, but we don't speak in those terms first…we explain truth in terms of honour and shame. We say how that to speak truth is respectful, and lying is shameful. We have to translate our message into the language that is understood. If a leader lies, he is shameful. We don't just fight for truth, but we fight for the truth about honour and the honour of truth. We don't just fight against lies, but we expose the lies of mis-placed shame and the shame of lies.

We have to 'learn' a new language. We - including the church - have to expand our vocabulary, both our social vocabulary and biblical vocabulary. 

Like learning a language when going cross-culturally, we have to listen to hear how people articulate their feelings, aspirations, goals and describe their actions and choices. When we use a different language, the listener doesn't 'hear'.  They have to hear the gospel in their language. It has to be a language that speaks about identity, and belonging and honour and shame and acceptance, and what God affirms and rejects. It needs to acknowledge and not dismiss that their desires for identity and honour and acceptance and affirmation are valid, but where they seek it might be mis-placed.

The reality is that we all are sensitive to honour and shame but we articulate it in different ways. And Scripture talks more about shame than it does about guilt. So learning more 'shame' oriented language not only will help us communicate and share the gospel better with others, it will also give us a greater insight and experience of the God of the gospel.

Australia's Voice and the issue of 'Respect'

Profound! …not surprising….but….It's official….well about as 'official' in Australia as it can be, that 'Respect' is 'king'. 

The voice of the highest office in the nation of Australia - the Prime Minister, is choosing to use the concept of 'respect' to motivate the country to do what he believes is right. Thus also by implication, this infers that if you do the opposite, you are 'disrespectful'.  This was highlighted on a recent Australian news clip I saw on Youtube this week.

Attached to the campaigning for the upcoming 'Voice' referendum is one side pushing for 'Yes' and one side pushing for 'No'. And due to the nature of the proposal, the current Labour government (and thus the Prime Minister) put forward, and is promoting, the 'Yes' side.

So with his most recent statement, the Prime Minister Anthony Albanese is in effect saying, that to vote 'Yes' is to show respect.

And by saying this, he is obviously of the opinion (consciously or otherwise), that this is the line of argument that will sway the majority of voters.

Observing from across the ocean

Looking from afar, this is fascinating.

In this blogpost, I have no intention of 'taking sides'…although we definitely know how we would have voted had we been in Australia. However, what I want to comment on is the significance of the Prime Minister's statement and how it signals something important about Australian culture in relation to morality, and thus about Gospel evangelism and discipleship in my country of birth. 

Once upon a time….and earlier in the campaign, there was more emphasis on what a law or decision would 'do' - what practical benefits were hoped would eventuate. However, it seems the focus has become far more heavily weighted now not on what the decision would 'do', but on what the decision says about who we 'are'. The persuasion technique hinted at this before, but now it seems to be based firmly on the assumption that people will want to show they are respectful and not be someone who is  'disrespectful'. 

Here in Africa, as we have said often on this blog, the context of 'right and wrong' - ie morality, is deeply rooted and emerges in the context of honour and dishonour (shame). In English vocabulary here, that is most often verbalised in the words of 'respect' and 'disrespect'. 

Here, as an African friend and theologian had once explained, 'saying NO is very difficult for an African'. And the reason is that it is seen as disrespectful and to show disrespect is the most sinful/shameful thing a person can do. Thus to say 'Yes' to any request, command, idea or proposal (especially from elders and leaders) is respectful and right, and to say 'No' is to be disrespectful and wrong.

So it is interesting to hear the Australian Prime Minister as he heads up the "YES" vote, trying to use the motivation of 'respect'.

Australia has historically been an interesting mix of moral motivation. But from personal experience and Culture Test results, it is a nation that has been very highly motivated by a guilt-law-innocence perspective rather than an honour(respect)-relationship-shame perspective. As a country it's culture has been rooted in British monarchy but also influenced highly by the influence of the guilt-law orientation of the USA. And even the British side of things was more of experiencing the legal punishment arm of Britain, in being established as a convict colony. So along with free settlers who had no distaste for monarchy and the UK, the convicts of course had little desire for that kind of rule. In fact a previous Prime Minister Bob Hawke has apparently said that Australia was a place of 'no hierarchy of descent' or 'privilege of origin'. Australia was a place that wanted equality under a common rule of law for all, and not a place based on hierarchical familial relationships. Thus, alongside an element of respectful relationships reflective of British culture, it had become a place where relationships would be sacrificed in order to uphold rules and thus we would classify it as more of a guilt-law emphasis culture. Any concept of 'respect'  was more and more deeply entwined into the greater 'respect for rules'.

As previously discussed on this blog, Western culture, and within that Aussie culture, is shifting. Social media, multi-culturalism and a 'pendulum reaction' to supremacy of 'rules', alongside a separation from Judeo-Christian ethics that strives to bring the matters of rules and relationship together under God, has meant that especially younger generations are increasingly linking in to the part of how God made us that values respect in relationships.

However, as we yearn for respect and significance in relationships within a 'there is no God' 21st century society, we form such values outside of God's design and look for them outside of God…and thus in and from the creature, rather than the Creator. We thus begin to frame our concept of 'respect' not on giving honour to God and seeking honour from God, but giving it to people and getting it from people.

Thus the Prime-Minister didn't just talk about a 'Yes' vote showing 'respect', but that such showing 'respect' would make us 'feel good about ourselves'. In other words he asserts that a 'Yes' would demonstrate respect (and thus show you to be a good respectful person as viewed by others, in Australia and globally), and also give you a feeling of personal moral satisfaction as a good person, fulfilling a sense of purpose. The problem is that respect that is determined by what makes me feel good, is doomed for disaster.

Implications

So a few things stand out to me from this - a few things that the Aussie Christian and the Aussie church need to more and more take note of …and apply if we are to reach Aussie hearts with the gospel.

• Majority morality does not factor God in (we've known this for a long time of course)
• Majority morality has not only moved away from what pleases God, but as the bottom line also has moved away from what is best in the interest of others (although we still tell ourselves we act for the good of others and this 'respect' argument plays on that), to actually being determined and motivated by 'what makes me look morally right' in the eyes of people, and 'what makes me feel good or better about myself' 
• Majority morality is fast moving towards being oriented toward 'respectful relationships' rather than 'rule keeping'
• ...this feeds into then seeking respect from, and giving respect to, people rather than God ….and thus seeking affirmation, approval, acceptance, significance, value and identity on a human creature level rather than a Creator level.
• this provides great gospel-sharing opportunities to people who are seeking to give and receive respect and value and are searching to find a satisfying identity and purpose

So as I look at the 'Voice' debate, the 'voice' of the Prime-Minister is a 'voice' that speaks of where Australian society is at in regards to its morality and worldview. 

And thus it should remind us once again that God's 'VOICE' of the gospel needs to come to needy ears and hearts…. bringing the good news of the true honour and identity to be found in Christ before the eyes of God. For this is an identity that does not need to seek its place by affirming earthly cultures and groupings, but finds a higher more satisfying and joyful place by being part of God's family in which all people are granted an equal identity that surpasses all others and frees us from trying to find value and significance in the offers of this world. Such offers will always fail to satisfy, and will lead us away from that for which we were made and fall short, but which Jesus came to restore.

The Boy at the Gate - Grass roots honour-shame renewing of the mind.

Our study and research is all about an end-goal of practical teaching that transforms lives as we seek to help others around us learn God's ways of how honour-shame dynamics should function. Sometimes that practical application is in situations we have thought about and worked through deeply before confronting. Many other times it turns up in unexpected impromptu daily-life ways. Today's story was not only a reminder that sin is not just about disobedience but about disrespect, but was another situation of the unexpected….

It was a sunny afternoon in the village, and about the time the local children were walking home after school. 

Without any warning God landed me another situation to help others out of cultural mis-placed honour-shame dynamics and to begin to see and experience honour-shame dynamics as God desires. This time it was a group of village children.

Suddenly I had heard our gate bell ring (its a cow-bell tied to the inside of our gate that you don't even know is there unless you have been inside our yard, or seen someone else ring it.)

I was brought a message that some girls from my Saturday village girls' bible study were at the gate.  

However when I got to the gate, I discovered only one of the girls there, but she was with 2 other boys I had actually not seen before. They were all on their way home from school. The girl immediately pointed with a stick she was playing with, to the older boy, indicating it was him who had rung the bell.

But when I asked what they wanted, there was silence. 

No-one wanted to say why they were there. 

After a few more questions and the older boy particularly continuing to be sheepishly silent, I figured out that they were pulling  a prank... but for some reason they didn't actually run away when I had come to the gate….maybe because the girl knew it would be disrespectful to do that and she would be 'shamed' next bible study time if what she did was exposed.

I asked a few more times, in various ways, just to be sure if there really was a real reason for ringing the bell. Each time I asked, I just got silence, and then a hint of a smirk from the older boy. When I tried to ask the other young boy and the girl about it, they also just kept silent and pointed to the older boy.

But rather than just reprimand them for wasting my time, and then telling them to go, I thought momentarily about using it as an opportunity. I had never specifically told them previously to not ring the bell for no reason, so it wasn't a situation of saying 'why are you ringing the bell for no reason when we have told you not to do that?'

So, I firstly responded to the boy using honour-shame language, saying that if he is ringing the bell for no reason, he is being 'disrespectful'.

Well that immediately got a different response. His head dropped and he wouldn't look at me. 

When, culturally, the one major sin to avoid is 'disrespect' or 'dishonour' or 'shame', then without linking the wrong act to the wrong attitude of disrespect/dishonour, there is no conscience prod. But when sin is brought back to the dynamic of honour/respect, then the conscience starts to kick-in. And often here, especially with kids, the English honour word used is most often is 'respect/disrespect'. So the cultural context of sin that envelops the word 'disrespect' sunk in to his heart.

I talked a bit longer to the boy and the two others about how his 'playing' just for 'fun' also means I am less likely to believe him to have a genuine need next time he rings the bell, because this time was not an honest need. So ringing the bell for a joke is like not telling the truth and is making him to be seen as less trustworthy. I asked him if he wanted to be known as someone who was trustworthy? He nodded, 'yes'.

So that was progress…at least he was responding even if not verbally yet!

So then I asked again if he had a reason for ringing the bell. And, with head down again, I suddenly heard a quiet 'no' emerge from his lips. 

I thanked him for being honest, and explained that it is always honourable and never shameful in God's eyes to speak the truth.

But before they went, I said that what he needed to then do was say 'sorry Mma …. for ringing the gate without a reason...'

Well that was just too much, and he went quiet again. So I repeated myself. 

Quiet.

His head was down with eyes looking at the dirt.

The problem is that confession is self-shaming, and if culturally, shame is the big something to be avoided at all costs, he was in a difficult situation.  To respect me, he has to shame himself. He may want to restore respect but he doesn't want to self-shame (in front of me or his friends). To speak the truth meant he self-shamed. To complicate it even further, a child learns that often culturally to speak the truth is also seen as shameful if it might dishonour an elder. So a child learns that culturally it is not always acceptable to others and can be a 'wrongdoing' to speak the truth, let alone it also destroying personal honour.

So I then explained that if he said sorry, there was the offer of forgiveness, and instead of going away shamed, he could go away with the shame removed and back in a position of respect and honour.

I then further explained that God says, that to say the truth and admit (confess) wrongdoing is always respectful and honourable in His eyes, and thus also it's the same for me in this situation.

Wow! Then I heard him break his silence again with, 'I'm sorry' …and he then continued to say fully what he was sorry for.

So then I said 'I forgive you'. 

He looked sincerely a mixture of relief and confusion and puzzlement and wonder. He had probably not ever had such an interaction or experience of forgiveness and shame-removal in that way before.

I then explained again that his disrespectful bell-ringing shamed him, but now his truth-telling and admitting/confessing his sin was honourable and respectful again…so now with my forgiveness he could leave and continue on his way with respect (honour) in the relationship again instead of shame. I re-iterated that is how it is with God…telling the truth and admitting and confessing sin is never shameful in God's eyes, it restores honour in the relationship.

As he left, and walked with his friends toward home, he still seemed a bit bewildered by the whole event…but his head wasn't down, and although as he left I heard some interaction indicating that he seemed to want to brush over the embarrassment of the incident with his friends, I pray God would etch that experience and conversation into his memory, and even if I never see him again, that he will one day remember that God's way of honour is different from his culture's way, and God's way is the only way that truly sets us free from the bondage and shame of our sin.

Sin is more than law-breaking: Lessons about honour and shame from a Blue Crayon

Being grandparents is one of those special joys in life I will always treasure. 

One of the opportunities it brings is being involved in the teaching and training of precious young lives and watching them learn and grow. 

Recently discovering artistic blue crayon 'swirls' drawn on one of our white walls provided another of those teaching and training opportunities.

But as I thought about the 'crayon' event afterwards, I realised it not only taught a little four year old something about telling the truth, and being found out for her wrong doing, and confession of sin, and forgiveness, and how her efforts of cleaning it off were useless (she offered to get a cloth and wash it off and tried for all her worth) and only Grand-pa's Sugar-soap was able to scrub the wall clean…

…..but…..she also brought me the blessing of teaching and growing my alertness once again to the honour-shame dynamics of the nature of sin.

 

Blue Crayon Lesson 1 

- There is a non-disobedience, 'shame' kind of wrongdoing

I have lost count of how many times I have read that sin is defined as 'breaking the law' or 'disobedience'.

However, my little grand-daughter's artwork on the wall was not disobedience. No adult had specifically issued her with a command or instruction not to draw on walls in our house. 

However, as soon as I called her and pointed at the wall and asked in a very particular serious tone of disapproval 'who did this?', she went instantly silent and turned her head away and wouldn't look at me. 

She instantly knew she had done something wrong and unacceptable, just from my tone.

But what kind of wrong was it?

If it wasn't disobedience, what was it?

It was primarily dishonour and disrespect.

Eventually after I assured her that although Grandma (me) was not happy with what she had done and it was a bad thing to do that I would not be cross at her for telling the truth, she did honestly confess and tell me that she did it and we had a conversation about drawing on paper only and not walls. She also had a lesson on confession and forgiveness, but that there were still consequences to deal with. Like many situations in parenting, what appeared to be first a 'bad' situation was actually a 'good' opportunity for God to use as a teaching moment in which we thought about what God would want us to learn from it, and be prompted to turn our hearts to him…and thus glorify him.

Blue Crayon Lesson 2 

- Looking for what we can easily miss about shame

But also, what seemed a 'mundane' and 'normal' parenting (or grand-parenting ) event was yet another occasion where I am learning to see and consider 'with new eyes', and be more alert to, the honour-shame dynamics which were 'shouting' out at me, but where I could have easily missed their reality.

As the 'crayon artist' was questioned about the situation, she acknowledged and agreed that it is paper that she should be drawing on (and later I further explained to her only her paper not just any paper she finds in the house!). But there had been no direct disobedience to a previously defined house 'rule'.

But I noticed some further dynamics play out….

• She came to the very real awareness that amidst her behaviour that was unacceptable, she felt unacceptable. 

• Her normal desire to face me and tell me some new discovery or run and hug me had suddenly changed. 

• She went totally silent and seemed to withdraw instantly into herself (even holding her arms close to her body as she stood in front of me as I crouched in front of her). 

• Her head was turned away and even when I moved her and told her to look at me, her face was toward me but her eyes were looking off to the side.

All honour of close relationship with her Grandma had suddenly been destroyed. And though she knew I wasn't happy, even with my arm around her, she still couldn't bring herself to face me.

Blue Crayon Lesson 3 

- Learn from what we observe and interpret it from more than just a guilt-law-disobedience lens

Some of what this event highlighted to me was:

• Wrongdoing is more than disobedience and law-breaking.

• Wrongdoing is rooted in an awareness of not measuring up, and thus not being acceptable to the one you meant to please. Because the word in Scripture translated as 'sin' means to miss the mark, the real meaning and reality of sin is more related to unacceptability than to specifically disobedience and lawbreaking.

• Behaviour exposed as unacceptable is felt as personal unacceptability and is instinctively felt and intrinsically linked to a sense of shame.

• Shame brings an automatic and untaught response. Guilt from disobedience only comes about as a result of transgressing a known itemised, explained and taught law. Shame comes about with no teaching, training or even with no transgression, but by simply 'feeling' a short-coming in the expectations and 'eyes' of the one we desire to please.

• Shame brings separation and a break in relationship. Joy in closeness and togetherness is gone, peace and relaxedness and freedom to converse is also destroyed.

• Shame brings an instinctive desire to withdraw and pull away, to hide, especially from the gaze of the one we have dishonoured.

• Shame brings a fear to even look upon the one who we should otherwise love, and should otherwise enjoy the eyes of joy and approval of.

Blue Crayon Lesson 4 

- Understanding the shame context of sin helps us bring the rightly explained biblical solutions to the problem

The good news was that when she confessed and was forgiven suddenly the reconciliation was instantaneous. Separation and hiding ceased, fear disappeared, the experience of love and closeness and joy returned. Honour of relationship as it was meant to be was restored. 

As we bring others the good news of how Jesus deals with our sin, we need to understand how sin works, not just in the context of guilt but in the context of shame. We need to be careful not to only see and understand wrongdoing in the context of law-breaking and disobedience. We need to recognise how sin is far more deeply and intrinsically tied to shame and how it causes a person to respond in relation to shame, right from a very small child.

As you and I learn more of the dynamics of sin in relation to shame, there comes the opportunity and need to bring the message of the gospel into such situations. We don't need to wait till disobedience occurs to lead someone to recognise wrongdoing or sin…we should not only use the context of disobedience to teach about sin. Jesus didn't come just to deal with the guilt of our disobeying but with the shame of our dishonouring. We need to not overlook the context and opportunities that shame brings to teach us about sin and how Jesus conquers sin and brings reconciliation and restored honour to shame shattered hearts.

Blue Crayon Lesson 5 

- We need to parent and disciple more from a base first of instinctive and inherent honour-shame realities and not skip this only teaching sin in relation to guilt-law-disobedience.

Foundations are built from physical birth and from spiritual birth and habits and perspectives and understandings are formed. Life is full of observation, interpretation and application. We take in what we are exposed to, we then try to make sense of it (consciously or unconsciously) and then we try to fit it into how we see and what we believe about life and thus it emerges in how we then live.

I would like to suggest that we miss the most foundational parts of the human soul when we overlook shame or over-emphasise guilt to the neglect or mis-understanding about shame.

To conclude…

Let's be gospel-honour hope bringers 

to a world deep in the mire 

of sin-shame hopelessness.

Whether you are a parent or a friend or in ministry or looking at your own life, the shame-roots of how sin is and how it functions, is imperative to understand and understand well. In reality it is nothing new, and it doesn't become less important just because we fail to prioritise its importance in our thinking. Right from a very young age a child is responding to awareness of unrighteousness through a lens of honour or the loss of honour (shame). 

While the law was given to taught about what we should do, living in honour is how we were made to be. Before the law, there was honour. Under any law-breaking issue is a more foundational honour-loss issue. Before a person, including children learn about law-breaking they already know that honour-losing is a place of fear, anxiety, separation, ruined relationship, isolation, unacceptability and shame. Our world is filled with awareness and fear of honour-losing, so let us maximise that awareness and bring the good news of how Jesus made a way to overcome that very thing that we have feared from before we ever learnt about laws and law-breaking. Let's be gospel-honour hope bringers to a world deep in the mire of sin-shame hopelessness.

It's 'pride month': Thinking more about the world's problem of pride and the how the church needs to do more to address our human hunger for honour.

photo credit - screenshot

It's the end of June….

…when much of the world has been awash in 'Pride month'….. meaning 'Gay Pride' — to promote anything related to those who identify as LGBTIQ+. 

This year, even large mainline shops such as Target in the USA and Woolworths in the UK and South Africa have chosen to stock a whole range of clothing promoting the month and put huge posters on walls of their stores to promote it. At first glance it is sickening, and at a deeper look it is evil…since evil is the opposite of good, and this is the opposite of good. Here in Africa it is a hotly debated issue since Uganda has recently made homosexuality a punishable crime, yet Botswana recently de-criminalised homosexuality. But many Africans are voicing their concerns on platforms like TikTok that the whole LGBTIQ+ push is a modern Western colonisation attempt to destroy African culture (which traditionally doesn't allow homosexuality) and as an effort to curb reproduction and reduce the African population. 

And in the midst of it all, my heart is just sad for all those walking a road of soul destruction. Any lifestyles that flout God's design, cheat the person of abundant life now, and blind them to the need for, and surpassing joy of, eternal life forever.

BUT 

…the issues of this year's 'pride month' have not arrived overnight  but it seems to have finally 'awoken' some Christians at least to another more subtle but sinister underlying problem in our world….regarding the use of the word 'pride.

What do you think of when you hear the word 'pride'?  How do you use the word 'pride'?

Have you ever said to your child 'I'm proud of you'  or maybe 'you should take pride in your work'?

Or have you ever heard someone speak of school, family, cultural, or national pride?

THE PROBLEM OF PRIDE

Christina Fox, writing over at the Ligonier blog has this month raised this issue of the word 'pride'.  She says:

While our culture might view pride on a continuum, in the Bible, it is equated with sin.

Biblical Counsellor and Psychologist Ed Welch has also raised the issue in a CCEF blog post back in 2020, noting that:

Pride might help us feel strong and attractive in our own eyes, at least for a moment. But in reality, it is a gross violation of our created design.

He goes on to say in the same blogpost that:

Pride is one of the foremost ways of describing sin. It is wrong. It is against God and other people. 

C.S. Lewis has said in his book Mere Christianity that Pride is the great sin:

According to Christian teachers, the essential vice, the utmost evil, is Pride. Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness, and all that, are mere flea bites in comparison: it was through Pride that the devil became the devil: 

Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind…… it is Pride which has been the chief cause of misery in every nation and every family since the world began

This is not a new way to think of pride as the great 1st Century theologian, Augustine, Bishop of Hippo (in present day Algeria),  points out…

"Pride is a great evil; it is even the foremost evil, the beginning, root and cause of all sin. It was pride that overthrew the angel and made the devil. And even when overthrown, he passed on the cup of pride to upright humanity. He aroused pride in the human being who had been created in the image of God, and that pride made humanity shameful. The devil entered humanity and persuaded Eve to defy God's law and use her own power. … 'If you eat, he said, you will be like gods' (Gen 3:5). Consider, then, whether it was not pride that persuaded her. The two who had been created human wanted to be gods. They assumed what they were not and lost what they were; they did not lose their human nature, but they lost blessedness, both present and future. They lost the place to which they were to be raised, deceived by the one who had been thrown down from there"

  

In commenting on 'pride month', Ken Ham of Answers in Genesis highlighted in a blogpost a short while ago, that the prophet Ezekiel pronounced pride as the root of all sin when he said the kingdom of Judah had sinned like the people of Sodom and that the first sin of Sodom was pride. I also recently heard Martyn Iles of 'Answers in Genesis' raising this problem of pride being a promoted idea yet in Scripture is clearly sin. 

BUT mostly, the fact that 'having pride' is accepted in the world as ok and yet in Scripture it is sinful, has somehow flown 'under the radar'. It was in 2019, after being concerned about this for several years that I raised the issue in a blog post  I've often talked to people about it, but the response I get seems to be more in the range of 'oh I think you might be taking that too far, people don't mean anything bad by it'.

Maybe the reason we have been more concerned with the homosexuality (and other associated sexual 'orientations') than the pride label that is attached to it in our 21st century world, is that we have not addressed our prior cultural mis-use of the word. Furthermore, it has been in a context where we have not well-addressed the honour issue that sits underneath the pride issue.

We are apt to use the word 'pride' because the culture uses it in place of the word 'honour'. 

And we in the 21st century church have not well understood what our Bible says about honour, nor have we developed a biblically robust, theology of honour. We have sadly taken a mis-step in letting the world shape our vocabulary and our thinking.

Pride has now gained a foothold in our globalised world as being understood as something 'good' and positive to achieve, and even 'needed' for being human. Yet Scripture says something different and the church didn't really notice. Somehow Satan managed to use a word that the Christians overlooked and even used themselves. Maybe we stand guilty of Romans 1:21-23?

Now that June 'pride month' is suddenly in everyone's faces because of places like Target and Woolworths, we have been forced to notice.

Some gays and lesbians would argue that they don't want the issue of their sexual lifestyle linked to the issue of identity or even of 'pride' parades or 'pride' month, but the problem of 'pride' in our global Western influenced society is emerging as inextricably linked to issues of identity and dignity. And this puts us in danger of another mis-step.

Our problem is to think that because 'pride is wrong', then 'identity' is wrong because the world is obsessed with pride of identity. And in our modern world the two words and issues are tightly held together.

However, I believe, what we have maybe failed to do as 21st century Christians, is recognise that while a desire for pride is wrong and is the product of a sinful heart, the desire for honour is not. Psalm 8 tells us that humans as created by God, have been given a unique level of honour and glory, thus we are meant to desire and find our satisfaction and fulfilment of honour in God. John Piper talks at length about this in his book Desiring God. 

Pride is simply (but yes also fatally), a mis-placed desire for honour. 

Thus, as Christians, in our zeal to confront pride as sinful, we are at risk of being understood by the society as opposing honour and dignity. 

This has led us to say that because the world has linked pride with identity, then a desire for identity is also wrong. We are at risk of not realising that desire for identity is not wrong, but is also mis-placed as part of a mis-placed desire for honour. It is trying to find our sense of self and worth in the creature (us or others around us), rather than in the Creator. As Christians, we may then also get busy wanting to confront the desire for identity and thus be mis-understood by others (whether consciously or not) as eroding or being against a person's most fundamental human honour and dignity.

THE HUMAN HUNGER FOR HONOUR

We recoil in the horror of blatant sexual sin and the hopeless obsessions with false identity and now the prominent positive use of the word 'pride', but I fear we may be still missing the underlying cries of the lost sinner's heart. The desire for honour and efforts to gain and maintain it, fill our world. In fact British gay political commentator and author Douglas Murray has said that the whole problem of businesses trying to look visible in their gay pride support, started after the financial disaster of 2008 in the effort of banks and corporations—who he says should have been on the line for almost completely destroying the world economy—discovered the 'cheaper and easier way to improve their image' was to go 'big on all the identity politics stuff'. 

In other words they were trying to do what I would call some 'honour compensation diversionary tactics' in another area, in the hope it would make up for the honour they believed they lost.

The further problem, is that we observe all this, and then think that the answer and correction to pride is simply to teach humility. It is true that humility is in a way the opposite of pride. But maybe we need to look at it like this:

Pride is the way of a lie as to how to gain honour.

Humility is the way of the Truth as to how to gain honour.

You see, separate of the use of the word 'pride' in 'gay pride', maybe over recent decades or more, the church in its zealousness to biblically oppose pride has focused on being humble. But the only reason we can promote humility is that as Christians we already have a confidence in our God-given honour as his firstly created and then redeemed people, and that God has already taught us that the way to true honour is via the road of humility as Proverbs 18:12 says:

'Before destruction a man's heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor'

I fear we may have rightly understood humility as being God's way to live and the opposite to pride being the world's way, but we have done so without understanding that such an understanding is only part of the story. Even if we are ready to recognise that pride is related to a desire for honour, we may not be alert to realise that Scripture also holds out to us the desire and hunger for honour, in order to motivate us to pursue humility. 

Even the warning that 'pride comes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall' assumes a person will not want destruction and a fall (Proverbs 16:18) and would rather have honour of success than shame of failure (fall). No-one wants to 'fall from grace'…in other words, lose honour. When Jesus, during the Sermon on the Mount, says 'blessed are the poor in spirit', there is an assumption that people will want to be in a state of blessing, which is a state of favour and honour, and will thus be challenged that it is worth being 'poor in spirit' in order to find blessing (Matthew 5:3).

The challenge to lose our life so as to find it….assumes a person has a desire to first want to 'find' life (Matthew 10:39).

At its core, the anticipation of rewards and crowns in eternity has the assumption that we will actually desire to have rewards and crowns (Matthew 6:5-6, 2 Timothy 4:8). The Apostle Paul presses on so as to obtain the prize (Philippians 3:14) and seeks to be faithful so as to not disqualify himself from the prize (1 Corinthians 9:27).

We talk about this and read these verses and yet somehow miss the connection between what Scripture is saying and our own human desires. Many evangelical Christians may feel uncomfortable with such a concept. We have been taught to seek humility and that any desire for honour is wrong. Yet, we can only truly embrace humility if we have first embraced right honour. 

The biblical challenge is that God offers us right and true and satisfying honour which will bring us deeper happiness than anything the world offers, but that it sits in the irony of only becoming ours when we first let go of our own efforts and ideas of how to achieve it and our our efforts of keeping it to ourselves. Honour that we seek our way, for self-satisfaction, ignores God and deprives others and ultimately keeps us in the bondage and pressure of forever trying but never fully achieving, a gaining and maintaining of that honour. Honour that we seek God's way, for His glory, acknowledges God and blesses others, and also in the end satisfies us…and gives us that satisfaction and rest and peace and joy and happiness in abundance.

The road to true honour is humility, not pride, and thus the road to true identity is not via finding something by which we can gain 'pride' in ourselves, but finding that we have the offer of honour given to us that comes via humility not pride. And thus this issue of 'identity' that pastor and author the late Tim Keller has said is the 'core' of our culture.

And as we think about this, the reason the world is searching for identity in the hope they will find it in sexuality, race, or gender, is the result of:

A SLIDE….

That began with….

A Western world in recent centuries in which a majority claimed to be Christians and found their ascribed and achieved and associated honour in God (ascribed/inherent honour in being created by God, their achieved and associated honour not in their own achievement but in Christ's redemption and then through His Spirit's gifting and sanctification enabling them to live for God's glory which in turn further gave them the honour of growing more and more into the people that God designed and desired them to be).

Then...

We had a Western world that began to think they existed physically apart from God….via evolution, and could function emotionally apart from God psychologically….while still thinking they could 'acknowledge' God's existence and hope for his benefits.

Then... 

We had a Western world that began to gain their main sense of honour, not from God, but from their own personal achievements. Alongside this, culturally America didn't want any sense of ascribed/inherited/inherent honour such as exemplified in the British Monarchy and so further emphasised and rewarded those who did bigger and better in their achievements. Honour of identity had shifted to obtaining it through human achievement of wealth or position.

But...

Deep down this couldn't last because it would not satisfy. It was realised that achievement actually wasn't the road to assureness of life satisfaction and identity or dignity. Yes, you will have noticed that the word dignity has started popping up in all kinds of ways in our modern world…'dying with dignity' is just one of those ways. But because achievement is not satisfying an honour hunger that people live by but don't recognise what it is…..they have gone looking beneath the 'achievement' inately knowing there is something deeper to life than just acheivement.  And they are right…who they 'are' is more important than what they 'do' and we were never meant to gain our identity by what we 'do'. What we 'do' has always meant to be a result of who we 'are'.

So...

Our current world is desperately searching for the water that will quench a thirst for who they 'are'…their identity. With their life compass no longer set toward God and just flailing all over the place…they are totally vulnerable lies from the Father of Lies and in their own separation from God and unrestrained pleasing of self and reliance on self. So no wonder they are trying to find their identity in such warped and wicked ways as we are seeing…ways that will  delude them and ultimately destroy them….Unless they find

THE SOLUTION 

I once had someone attending a seminar I was teaching, challenge me to further explain a statement that I made that our hunger for honour and avoidance of shame lies at the very core of every human being. Such a statement had felt to them as a bit of a bold statement.

Yet, if pride is the core or root of all sin, and pride is a mis-placed hunger for honour, then it stands to reason that it is the hunger for honour that is actually at the core and root of all sin.

Christians need to understand what is going on and learn how to bring biblical good news to the core problem of the lost souls of our world who are wandering aimlessly, looking for something they sense but have no clue as to how to find the true answer. 

But while we need to recognise the broken cisterns of dirty, muddy, putrid, death-delivering water they are drinking from, and the lies that abound which make them believe it is life-giving water….the greater need is for us to actually realise what they are looking for and to help them see that rather than God being quiet on their deepest longings, God says a lot about his right way to find what they are looking for. They need to discover that Jesus himself is their source of identity, dignity and honour. Yes, his road (both commanded and exemplified) to the fulfilment of those longings requires us to first do what humanly seems the opposite, and let go of our honour and pursue humility. 

BUT, if a mis-placed honour yearning is the core of all sin, a rightly placed honour hunger and thirst (for righteousness  found only in Christ and not ourselves) is then the core of all that will please God and satisfy us…..because ….by Jesus Christ we were made, and by him we can be re-made, born again to a new satisfying identity and honour.