Quiet Surprises

God has a way of surprising us quietly - in ways we least expect. Sometimes those surprises are profound and others are just quiet reminders of the Creator’s blessings and presence.

There have been several occasions since moving to this house where I have spotted things in God’s creation which I did not necessarily expect to see now that we were no longer living in the bush and were now in the village context where trees are fewer and yards are swept to the dirt.

But not only have there been some times to still spot things I thought I would not see, but there have been new critters and bugs to see. Here are some of those for you to enjoy, and with me, once again praise the Creator!

A few weeks back I was reclining on the bed looking out the window, from where I can see the top of the wall of the neighbour’s yard across the lane-way…and I saw a movement. Something was scurrying across the top of the wall. I looked more closely and….

I had only ever seen the male lizard (the more colourful one with the brighter blue head and yellow tail) while living in the bush house, but here were a Mr and Mrs….with Mrs playing hard to get!  Periodically they would both pause their running up and down along the top of the wall - guess they both just needed to rest and catch their breath! They were really fun to watch.

Then of course there have been still some butterflies - no not as many as the bush house but still more than I expected to see and have visit this garden. Here’s one from a couple of days back.

Then today there was another surprise - a huge colourful spider I had not ever seen before up under the edge of the carport roof - relaxing in the middle of his HUGE web. From tip of front leg to tip of back leg it was about the size of a saucer!

I had to ‘look him up on google’….only to discover ‘he’ is probably a ‘she’ - as unlike the lizard and much of the animal kingdom, the female is the large colourful one and apparently the male is smaller and not as colourful! 

So she is a Banded-legged golden orb-web spider or scientifically  a 'Nephila senegalensis’. She too was fun to watch - and wow could she move fast when she spotted a bug of some kind about 30cm from her centre-web lookout position. And after grabbing it and reversing as similar quick speed back to her centre spot, she enjoyed her afternoon tiny snack - holding it with her little orange ‘hands’, and then went back to her relaxed position awaiting the next unsuspecting bug!

And I once again was caused to stand in awe of our amazing God and Creator!

Life Lessons from the African Klipspringer

While there are trials of living in the African bush, there are a myriad of joys as well.

One of those joys is the periodic visits to our yard and garden of two dear little Klipspringer antelope. -Klipspringer meaning 'rock-leaper' in Africaans.

Their Scientific name is ….get ready for it….Oreotragus oreotragus (meaning mountain he-goat). No, I haven't made a mistake, both words are the same. Klipspringers are the only ones in their genus category. Their closest 'relative' is the dik-dik (yes as mentioned in Jungle Doctor books!).  They stand just over 40cm at the shoulder.

They quietly wander in and browse on plants in our garden which they especially seem to think are tasty - thankfully the ones they choose are ones that are plentiful in our garden. They also browse very delicately on their small and fine hooves, and unlike monkeys or baboons, don't appear to do any real damage to the garden. So they are welcome visitors which delight us with their visits.  When monkeys or baboons visit, it means immediate effort to shoo them off before they do massive amounts of damage to the garden and drain our plunge-pool like its their ever-ready watering hole! But to have the Klipspringer visit is relaxing and enjoyable…

...all except one time when one of them tried to see if they could drink from the pool and fell in!…

...thankfully it was a time we were watching and we were able after multiple attempts, to get her out! (you see we couldn't just jump in and pick her up, because, as my husband wisely pointed out, their hooves are sharp and pointed and as they would push against us they would probably rip our chest apart! - thankfully my husband was present with his knowledge, as after we had finally set her free from probably her first baptism and swim, we discovered that the pool cover (thermal blanket) that was on the pool when it happened, ended up with 'hoof' sized neat round puncture holes in it where she had tried swimming across it!

Anyhow we were glad we were both home and watching, on the occasion they decided to try out that source of drinking water, so that now they know and hopefully won't try it again.  We've not see either of them go anywhere near the pool since.

But that was just ONE of many reminders/lessons God has brought to us via these beautiful little creatures  - God's care

- that God so took care of them so that they tested it out, found it to be dangerous so wouldn't go near it again, but made sure they did it when we were home, so that we were here to make the rescue and we are more at peace as well that we won't come home one day to find one of them dead and drowned in the pool. 

The verse from Matthew 6:30 comes to mind 'If God so clothes the grass of the field….will he not much more clothe you?'. If God cares for other parts of creation that are not 'made in his image', then how much more will he care for us.

But anyhow, back to the joys of their visits…..

The 2nd lesson from our two Klipspringer is - faithfulness -  they monogomously mate for life.

We only ever see them, on their own, but together. There is no 'herd' of Klipspringers. And we never see just one of them on their own.  They are totally devoted to each other until 'death do they part'.  So they could teach we humans a thing or two!…after all if two Klipspringers can stick together for life, why can't humans! They don't seem to be worried that they are 'missing out' on whatever other Klipspringers might be doing, they are just devoted to each other and happy with each other's company, forever!

A verse to remember: Genesis 2:24  'A man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife'

The 3rd lesson is - sacrificial love

As I was watching these two creatures one day I realised something interesting. As one would graze, the other would not. In fact the one 'not grazing' would always be on alert and look-out, like a sentry, and often that meant standing on top of one of our stone walls, while the other one was grazing below.  Even if they are no walls around, the 'lookout' one would put their two front hooves on a rock to elevate them so they could see around and watch out for the one that was more vulnerable while having its head down and eating. They never seemed to be both eating at the same time. In fact immediately when the one on the wall decided to jump down to eat, the other would stop and jump up on the wall, and they would 'swap' being the lookout.  And it didn't seem to matter which of them moved first, the other one would just shift role. The female looked out for the male and the male looked out for the female, however it was needed.

The 4th lesson - looks aren't everything

The 'man' in this pair, isn't exactly the perfect specimen, he's quite a  bit smaller than the female (when Klipspringer males are usually larger than females) and his stubby antlers are not even the same length and look like they may have even got broken off.  But 'Mrs' is dedicated to her man and is mostly right by his side - or at least within his sight, never more than a few meters apart (except when she fell into the pool and he ran off to the protection of the bush when we entered the scene). Maybe he had an accident with his horns, or maybe he's just genetically 'quirky', either way she's stuck with him through thick and thin, whatever his physical abnormalites or uniqueness.

Remember 1 Samuel 16:7: 'Man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart'

The 5th lesson - rocky ground is no hindrance

These beautiful little antelope are 'custom made'.  Not only are they the only antelope in their genus, their bodies/feet are designed for rocky ground. They walk on their 'tippy toes' like a ballerina across the rocks and their hooves are made of a kind of hard rubber to cushion their amazing spring-loaded running jumps. While other antelope might like the ease of flat smooth paths, these guys are not afraid of tough terrain.  They almost seem to prefer to pass through our yard via the tops of the rock walls! But why should they fear, their Creator made them for the task he had for them. Just like He doesn't put us in places He hasn't designed us for - both with our unique traits and the faithful enabling of our maker and redeemer.

Psalm 139:4

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made!

But I do have to just tell you that they have the prettiest bi-colour ears, and the most beautiful long black eye-lashes!  Times of them in our garden are some of my most special African experiences!

We do hope we might continue to see them visit…with maybe a baby one next year (they usually mate in Aug-Sep and gestation is 6months)…and we pray that their predators might leave them alone for a while at least, because we do have a few of their predators living on our hillside - baboons, snakes and leopard!  Because of predators they keep their babies hidden away in the bush for at least 3 months so the 'baby' might not be so small by the time we see it.

But while some people come to Africa to see the 'Big 5' (Rhino, Elephant, Leopard, Buffalo and Lion), I think these little antelope are pretty special!

For more info look here and here and here

The Confusion Over the Honour and Equality of Women

Equality of Women.

This is a topic to cause any conversation to get heated…..just like the blog I wrote a few weeks back about honour and headship and leadership.

But here I want to touch on the honour of a woman in the midst of the equality debate.

I have just come across a superb blog article (via a link from Challies.com), about women and their value alongside men….no not just value, but how much a man needs a woman to accomplish and be, all that he was created to be.  The article is profound, not just because it states the truth, but because of the ways it states it, and the referencess it quotes from the literature.

Please take the time to read the full article here, but meanwhile here is the final paragraph (emphasis mine):

Woman is the most powerful living force on the globe. She creates, shapes, and sustains human civilization. The first step in weakening her power is to convince her that she must overcome her femininity. This, ironically, is precisely what the most vocal strains of feminism have advocated. Yes, woman should have equality in the workplace, in politics, and in the public square. But to render her more like man in order to accomplish this, and to judge her womanliness a hindrance to her ascendancy, is to get things exactly backwards. It is to treat her as much less than she truly is.

I think this article hits the nail on the head.

We are confusing the 'are' and the 'do' of life.

As I have mentioned before, the Western world who have promoted feminism, are coming from an 'achieved honour' focus culture.  They see honour as being derived from what a person 'does'.  This is not the time to go into a theological treatise on ascribed and achieved honour in Scripture, but biblically our primary identity is not achieved but ascribed. We did nothing to be born and nothing to be re-born.  Once we are born, we then start 'do'-ing, and when we are re-born, we then 'do'.  But both only occur because we first 'are'. The 'doing' is the logical and natural outworking of the 'being'.

In trying to escape a mis-placed earthly and cultural honour which ascribed women a lower status, the world's answer seemed to be in the 'new' opportunities of the industrialised world, where women could begin to 'do' what men 'do'.  

Femininism was women seeking through achievement, what they believed they were failing to receive through culturally ascribed honour.  It is no different here in Africa.  Feminism and Feminist theology is strong in our corner of Africa.

But both feminism, and the culture it is rebelling against, are seeking mis-placed honour.  It is seeking honour according to the honour codes of fallen creation, of human wisdom and of finite knowledge, instead of finding honour from the Creator and knowing the joy of living according to His plan and purpose.

The world only knew one way to 'overcome' what was thought were the boundaries preventing a woman's honour (spoken about as dignity, equality, respect etc), and that was to overcome the femininity that held her back from 'doing' what men do.

Hoped for honour-gain has become honour-loss

But in seeking such honour by becoming more like a man, we didn't gain honour, we lost it.  

We lost the honour of our femininity.  

We lost the joy and pleasure of being who the Creator intended us to be.  

And as the blog article pointed out, the more society looses feminine women, the more society loses out. We end up with men who can't fully be the men they were meant to be and women who are refusing to be the women they were meant to be.

In fact we as women show how small-minded we are when we say we need to become like men.  

For a lock on a door to be functional according to its purpose there has to be both the lock mechanism and a key.  Neither one without the other is useful, but neither are anything like each other (except maybe they are both made of metal).  For one to say to the other that it must become in shape and activity the same as the other is pure nonsense.  They 'achieve' their purpose because they are different and work together acknowledging how the differences are meant to interact.  Neither is better than the other, and neither's activity is less important than the other.  Each is equal in value, worth, importance, significance and honour.

Identity needs to be rooted in the Creator's truth not the creation's ideas.

We need to develop a strong identity in who we 'are'.  And that identity needs to be rooted in who the Creator says we are.  

It must not be in what the world says we should look like, or what function we do or don't have, or what earthly heritage we come from.  Our identity needs to come from the ascribed honour we have firstly as beings uniquely created in God's image, and then most of all as who we are in Christ.

We must also be careful not to fall for the temptation to try to 're-create' the Creator's design, and re-define issues according to our own wisdom, in order to fit society trends or cultural mores….we can easily run the danger of seeking to be 'approved' by cultural opinion while rejecting God's opinion. On the other hand we should seek God's approval and smile even at the risk of rejection by cultural opinion. 

And as women, we need to learn to be content in who God says we are, and who God created us to be.  

What we 'do' is not the measure of who we are.  

What we 'do' may come from who we 'are', but the honour of identity starts with who we 'are' according to the Creator.  It is then and only then, that what we 'do' according to God's plan for us, will also be honourable.

Women will never be equal to men….in what we do.  

But guess what?….said another way…..

Men will never be equal to women either, in what they do. 

Different doesn't mean despicable

Men and Women are different: our roles are different, our function is different, our strengths are different, our weaknesses are different, our brains are different, our biology is different.  We are wonderfully different!  

When differences are in accordance with the creativity of the Creator, and not our own notions, 'different' is not something to be avoided, but to be embraced. 

We have just had the 2016 Olympics and every race was divided so that men and women do not run in the same race…..this is not because the Olympics treats women as inferior, but because it treats them with consideration and honour. 

We don't force 13 year old swimmers to enter the same world championships as 20 year old swimmers.  

The Paralympics are not held separately because we despise the disabled, but because we honour them.  To force them to run against others without disabilitites is dishonouring them.  For a disabled person to refuse to participate in the Paralympics because they see it as discrimiation is to refuse honour and set themselves up for failure and disgrace. 

We say things in the West like 'dare to be different' or 'embrace your unique gifts and qualities' or 'don't let anyone else tell you what you should be', and yet women are believing the lie that feminity is an unacceptable 'difference' that we should discard. We have believed the evolution lie that whatever is 'current' is of a higher evolved state and thus better than what went before so whatever 'new' idea comes along must be better for us.  

But the lies of the Serpant that started in the Garden are still capturing our minds today. 

When our idea of 'better' doesn't match the Creator's perfect design and we deem that the male and female differences are a hindrance to 'advancement' and 'happiness' and 'success', we are on the road of disappointment, delusion and destruction.

Delight in femininity

It's only when we acknowledge and embrace the differences that form the Creator's design, that they can become the very means to our true 'success' as how we were created to be.

It is only as we recognise our Creator (who made us as equal in His sight), and our Redeemer (who in Him we stand equal in His sight), that we will enjoy the fulness of who we are.

Even as Christians we can be tempted to first gain our identity from what we 'do' as seen by others and approved by others around us.  But if we take that road, we will set ourselves up for false comparisons….both with other women as well as with men.  

False comparisons will steal your contentment and flood you with condemnation.  

They will tempt you to want to 'be' who you are not.  

They will lure you to live outside the Creator's design. In this age of 'gender confusion' there is lots of temptation to live outside the Creator's design.

But that just sets you up for further heartache and disappointment.  

Let's not destroy our true created identity and honour in an effort to run after mis-placed identity and honour. 

Women, let's delight and rejoice in our femininity, and rejoice in our God who gave it to us to bring glory to Him and good to the world in which we live!

Headship, Leadership and Honour

'Headship' is a topic that is sure to cause a stir if its raised - particularly in relation to marriage.  

Over the past few days I seem to have received an unusual number of emails and posts from blogs I subscribe to, mentioning the issue of 'headship' as it relates to leadership and honour.

Several of them were in relation to the what true biblical 'headship' looks like and doesn't look like.  They have looked at how a mis-placed understanding can lead to 'polite abuse', or a wrong understanding of what 'honour' a husband expects, or as Mary Kassian explains a false and oppressive idea of 'authority'.

One article from 'GoTherefore.com' by David Gilmour also looked at the issue as it relates to the role of Pastors and how it is a wrong use of terms to place Pastors in a category of headship.

This is a topic which our local co-worker and I have discussed at some length in recent months as it relates to the role of Pastors.  We have observed how easy it is for an honour/shame emphasis culture to import culturally framed honour dynamics and expectations into the church.  

In fact I have also recently received two newsletters from missionaries in other parts of Africa (Uganda and Malawi) who raised concerns that they are seeing Pastors acting like a village chief.  Without realising it, a concept of leadership is framed by traditional headship of a chief over his village.

The Pastor sees his position as one of honour and one in which he expects honour (often unquestioned honour and allegience and obedience).  Often the church Elders also see themselves as now in positions of honour, like traditional tribal elders.  A Pastor's position in Africa is easily and subtly assumed to be one of status and privilege certainly within the 'church community' he leads, but often also within the wider community.  It's not difficult to understand that when a person becomes a Christian, they believe that their life-long desire for honour (perpetuated culturally) is fulfilled when they come to Christ, not only in a Spiritual sense but in an earthly sense in the eyes of their immediate church community and the wider community.  

As mentioned in other blogs, this is much of the fuel behind the explosion of prosperity theology in Africa - people see good events, promotions, and financial success as honour that God will bring them so that they will no longer need to be in positions of shame before the eyes of others because of poverty, illness or bad circumstances.  So to become a church leader is to gain position and power and prestige such as a village chief gains from his village and even in the eyes of surrounding villages.  Often a Pastor's wish is a parishioners command.

A Pastor may go to theological college, gain Bible knowledge and even learn about the tasks a Pastor should take responsibility for, but it seems they are often not learning or understanding who they 'are'.  In other words they learn what to 'do' in the 'practice' of a Pastor, but without a foundation of a biblical perspective on who they 'are' in their 'position' of Pastor. They may not properly comprehend that Pastoral leadership means servanthood and humility not headship and pride and power, nor grasp what that looks like in the reality of their cultural context. They can easily sub-consciously absorb the status of what they see as their elevated position. This is even happening in what might be termed to be evangelical or reformed gatherings.

We have observed that this is not only an issue for Pastors to need a clearer understanding, but also the church members need a clearer understanding.  Often the church members fuel a mis-placed honour when they refuse to let the Pastor do what they see as a menial job - such as sweep the porch or scrub a wall or clean a toilet or serve tea.  They don't realise they are being like Peter who wanted to stop Jesus from washing his feet.

Misplaced cultural views are retained because they are not identified and corrected with Scripture, and then replaced with Biblical views through clear Biblical instruction on the issue.

The issues Mary Kassian raises in her blog in relation to husbands and the biblical correction she brings to misplaced views of authority could also be useful in Pastoral Theology classes, particularly here in the context of an honour/shame emphasis culture:

She warned:

Jesus condemned a personal-power view of authority. He condemned men who exercised authority in a selfish, domineering manner. He said, "It must not be like that among you!" (Mark 10:43-45)

The misuse/abuse of authority is an abomination to God. He wants leaders to be shepherds after His own heart. (Jeremiah 23:2; Ezekiel 34:1-4; Zechariah 11:17). Some of the Bible's most scathing condemnations are directed toward leaders who fail to exercise authority in a godly manner. The Lord's anger burns hot against them (Zechariah 10:3).

And also affirmed re husbands:

 I believe that the Bible teaches that a husband's position as head of the home does not give him the right to rule, but rather the responsibility to provide loving oversight. A husband is not imparted with privilege; he is entrusted with obligation—the obligation to love, cherish and shepherd, in emulation of Christ.

She went on to say how Scripture gives a radically different view of authority from culture - and ultimately its not about honour for one's self but honouring God:

Culture upholds authority as the right to rule and lord it over others, but Scripture paints a radically different picture about the true nature of authority. It teaches that:

• Authority is not self-appointed; it's delegated by God.
• Authority is not personally owned; it merely stewards and manages that which belongs to God.
• Authority is not about rights; it's about responsibility.
• Authority is not about seeking prominence; it's about giving prominence.
• Authority is not domineering and dictatorial; it's humble and gentle.
• Authority is not about getting; it's about giving.
• Authority is not about selfish gain; it's about selfless sacrifice.
• Every authority is accountable to a higher authority, and all are accountable to God the Father, who is the ultimate authority.

Godly authority is motivated by love and commitment. Godly authority builds up; it doesn't tear down. Godly authority serves as a channel of God's protection and blessing. Godly authority watches over the well-being of others. Godly authority works with them, and for their joy. Godly authority doesn't glorify self; it glorifies God. 

Don't be a Wimpy Weak Woman!

I just viewed the video of a message by Mary Kassian at the True Woman conference in 2014 and thought it was well worth passing on.

Two observations on the USA Supreme Court ruling on Same-sex marriage from a Cross-cultural Missions perspective

- MARRIAGE -

Last Friday marked a sad milestone in the Western world as the Supreme Court of the USA ruled that same-sex couples are not to be denied the right to 'marriage'.

Various leaders and groups within the USA have already commented on their websites and blogs.  Within hours of the ruling we had emails tumble into our inbox from many such places.

Here are some links if you want to read further what some Christian leaders are saying:

Al Mohler has a special edition of The Briefing to talk it through. John Piper shared a lamentation. The Ethics & Religious Liberties Commission released Here We Stand, a statement of dissent signed by a whole series of Christian leaders. CBMW released an official response. Living Waters made comment and advertised their DVD.

Two things stand out to me from the perspective of 'looking in' from an outside cross-cultural perspective.

1. Marriage has been re-defined by the culture - but that doesn't change God's definition of marriage according to the Creator's design.  Life around us here in Africa is full of mis-defined  and mis-understood concepts.  I've lost count as to how many times I have been told by the lady who assists in our home, that from a biblical perspective, Africans have no idea what marriage is.  The mis-placed beliefs have to be replaced. We always need to be alert to where a 'cultural' meaning is eroding or in conflict with a biblical meaning of a concept. Even heterosexual 'marriages' can be a far cry from God's idea of marriage.  We need to seek a personally ever deepening knowledge of the truth on marriage and pro-atively teach it wherever we can.

2. This ruling was more about honour, not the law - As I listened to Albert Mohler's 20 minute radio comment on the ruling, he referred again and again to how the Chief Justice of the USA (who himself is pro-gay-marriage) was a dissenter on the ruling because he saw this was a ruling based on the personal moral views of the people making the ruling, not an upholding of the law.  This was not just about equal 'rights' in daily living but more about a desire for equal dignity - in other words 'honour'.  In fact the conclusion of the document states : "They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law".  

As Al Mohler mentioned, this was about a desire for gay couples to feel like they were of equal worth and 'belonged'.

I find it rather interesting that in quite an unplanned way,  my previous blogpost was all about whether the USA/the West is 'allergic to honour' or not.  My conclusion was 'not', but that we might be allergic to the 'word' honour even though the concept is influencing daily life all the time.  This ruling is a significant 'case in point'.  It is astonishingly clear in this document just how much the concept of 'honour' (in various terminology) is growing in Western society especially the USA, and how much it is influencing the Western worldview.

The arguments used in the ruling were cased in honour terminology such as:

gay marriage should be approved so children of gay-couples don't have to live with the 'stigma' of being looked on as 'less' and suffer 'humiliation'

exact wording: "children suffer the stigma of knowing their families are somehow lesser.......marriage laws at issue here thus harm and humiliate the children of same-sex couples".

"Same sex couples are denied benefits afforded opposite sex couples and are barred from exercising a fundamental right. Especially against a long history of dis-approval of their relationships, this denial works a grave and continuing harm serving to disrespect and subordinate gays and lesbians"

"Men and women suffered pain and humiliation"

"It is demeaning to lock same-sex couples out"

"The lifelong union of a man and a woman always has promised nobility and dignity to all persons, without regard to their station in life"

"Far from seeking to devalue marriage, the petitioners seek it for themselves because of their respect and need for its privilages and responsibilities"

"The state must accord them its respect"

"Many who deem same-sex marriage to be wrong reach that conclusion based on decent and honorable religious or philosophical premises  and neither they nor their beliefs are disparaged here.."

"Same-sex couples seek in marriage the same legal treatment as opposite sex couples and it would disparage their choices and diminish their personhood to deny them this right"

Words like 'dignity' or 'humiliation' or 'respect' were recurring throughout the documented ruling and in fact occurred 4 times just in the last few lines summary of the document.

The document did not emphasise 'justice' in the eyes of the law, but 'dignity' in the eyes of the law.  This is not a legal emphasis language but an honour emphasis language. This was not just about equal 'rights' in daily living but more about a desire for equal dignity - in other words 'honour'.  In fact the conclusion of the document states : "They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law".  

So what's my point?  Although our research was initially with the purpose of better reaching Africa it may well be used on a different continent......as I've said before....if the West wants to reach the Post-modern West with the gospel that will be heard at a heart level, it MUST factor in the reality of 'honour'.  

People must come to understand true honour in Christ if they are ever going to be willing to put aside a desire for honour in the eyes of the world around them.

Gay

"I'm Gay" once meant a person was telling you her name.  Now it means something totally different. Now it means a person's same-sex sexual orientation.

Homosexuality, whether it be gay or lesbian is in the forefront of the media wherever you look.

Yes even in Botswana, although it is deemed illegal, there is a support group who was recently awarded by the courts the right to be an officially registered organisation.  Some see it as a victory and some see it as the opposite.

I hear that, in Australia, there is yet another gay marriage push in the Federal Parliament.

In the UK, we have friends who have experienced a nightmare in recent years in relation to their young son because the official position of the country is to allow gay marriage and so what is being taught in schools is in line with that...and if a parent is found to contradict it, they face problems.

Some friends here have a young adult daughter who is in a lesbian relationship and a teenage son living in the UK who has announced he is in a gay relationship.

But  we see the response of Christians around the world generally polarised - either they are vehemently and verbally opposed or else totally accepting of it as 'normal'.

However, a cause of rejoicing is that there are many in the evangelical churches that are seeing a need to respond in truth and in love.  There is also a willingness of some of those who have struggled (or still struggle) with same sex attraction or have in the past been in a same-sex relationship, to share their story and God's grace in enabling them to overcome and live according to God's good plan for sex.

We would like to recommend a particular article that has just come 'across our desk' called 'Seven Things I Wish My Pastor Knew About My Homosexuality', as well as a video of a sermon by Kevin DeYoung based on his new book 'What does the Bible really teach about homosexuality' and the follow-on superb panel discussion featuring Jackie Hill Perry who prior to coming to Christ was in a lesbian relationship, but is now married and a mother.

.....and if you want another good book to read on the matter, 'The Secret thoughts of an Unlikely Convert' which is the autobiography of Rosaia Butterfield is highly recommended or 'What some of you were' published by Matthias Media or links to other good and helpful articles and books here

This is not a matter that Christians should be silent on, but what we say and how we say it is vital to whether the truth is heard and people understand truly what God says about the subject and the hope God has for those in the midst of it.

Sarah, honor and infertility

I have written on infertility before, since it is a topic very real in my own life. (see here and here for previous blogs)

But I have just read a blogpost on challies.com (the photo above is from that blogpost), about Sarah, Abraham's wife. The blogpost addresses the question of what must she have been thinking as she watched Abraham go off into the tent with her Egyptian slave, Hagar?

There are many great comments in the blog post and Challies is one of my favourite blogs to follow.  But from my personal experience and living and researching honour/shame contexts of Africa, I think the issue goes much deeper than he takes it.  By deeper I mean, the issue is more subtle.  

From a Western perspective, its so easy to be quick to judge and point out how 'off track' Sarah had got.  For sure she had wandered from her trust in God, but I doubt it was out of rebellion or gross disregard for God.  Especially if we are wanting to sincerely please God, Satan's temptations to sin are far more subtle.

Firstly I totally understand Sarah's personal desire to have a child.

But, from living in an African society where 'giving birth' has far greater significance than in our Western setting, I would not wish to be quick in my condemnation.  I wouldn't want to sit as a judge but rather learn from her as a fellow pilgrim who also faces temptations and a deceitful heart. Yes there is the reality of Sarah's idolatry - she had replaced God's word and wisdom with her own wish and wisdom.  We are all guilty of idolatry and again and again tempted to be idolators.  

What Sarah's story teaches me is that sin is subtle.  

But no matter how attractive sin is, no matter what it offers, no matter how logical it sounds, no matter how culturally acceptable it is, no matter how much pressure there is to conform, sin is still sin, and subtle or not it comes back to bite us. 

She also teaches me that 'helping God out' through human wisdom is a dangerous road to walk. It can be so very easy to leave the path of trusting God, to wander into relying on our own sense of 'participation' to solve our dilemmas or assist in our difficulties, especially when our culture may not see something as 'wrong'. 

She also teaches me that any good desire (such as to have children) that gets in the way of God's desire is idolatry.

She teaches me how 'easy' it is to rationalise sin or not 'see' sin for what it is.

She teaches me that a longing for significance or even a desire to help my husband gain honour must never usurp giving honour to God, God's way.

She may not have been consciously 'disobeying'.  She may not have awoken one morning and said, 'today, I've had enough of waiting for God, I don't trust Him anymore, I'm going to do this my way'.  

More likely she gradually began asking herself, 'Is there something I should do?  Maybe the way culture around me does it might be ok? Even though I want the baby to come from my body, maybe I should be willing to let go of that personal desire?  Maybe I should do something more to enable me to bring my husband an heir and the joy and honour of that heir?

Satan doesn't normally come with a big sign saying 'come this way, disobey God, and create a disaster', but rather he comes offering very plausible sounding arguments just like in the garden of Eden.  

Her story also teaches me that no matter how strong I am now and all my life in trusting God, it is never a guarantee of immunity from temptation at any point in my life.  Though maybe influential, my history doesn't automatically determine my present. Satan is the great deceiver, the father of lies and an angel of light.  

I get the impression that Sarah was busy 'doing what was right in [her] own eyes'.  It is more likely she rationalised sin rather than outright rebelled.  Both are wrong and equally shameful in God's eyes and dangerous to our walk with God, but both are not equally obvious.

Culture around Sarah in those days would have found it quite acceptable to have children by another woman so as to create an 'heir'. (see a previous blog about this practice right now in Africa even in the church)

Ancient near-east culture is very similar to the African culture all around me, where a woman has very little honour until she has given birth - until she is a mother. 

Challies' blog mentions that she already had honor and it may have been a certain kind of honor in some ways (she was at least married and they had some wealth), but where it mattered she didn't have it - she wasn't a mother. Culturally she was a failure as a wife and thus in a position of shame. (We must also remember that she and Abraham were called by God to leave their family and home place - a challenge in effect to leave all their earthly honour behind and live separated and as wandering outcasts in the eyes of those around them.) 

In honor/shame cultures the honor of becoming a mother and the honor for a man of having a son/heir is of paramount importance.  To have your line, your name, continue after you is vital. This would have been particularly significant in the light of Abraham having to leave his family 'name' to start again under no more re-assurance than God's promise that He would give him a new name and family.(Gen 12:1-3)  Sarah was a wife who not only was not a mother, but who was unable to give her husband an heir.  The fact that she got to the age she did without compromising was remarkable.  But we can't live on yesterday's faith.

And that is a challenge to me.  It is so easy to roll along in our Christian life in the 'power' of yesterday's walk with God - like a roller coaster only moving on the momentum from previous moments.

The challenge is big - to not fall back on human wisdom and reasoning, to not set standards of right and wrong by culturally acceptable ways, to not rationalise sin, to not seek mis-placed honour and to not grow impatient....to 'check in' with God on everything - to acknowledge Him (remember Him and seek His will and desires) in everything (Prov 3:5,6) and pray without ceasing! (1 Thess 5:17)

Sin is subtle and we must look more than superficially at our own situations, choices and thinking. We must not be impulsive but 'take every thought captive' unto obedience to Christ (2 Cor 10:5). We must not neglect exposing all our ideas to the light of God's word (Ps 119:105), we must not underestimate the deceitfulness of our own heart (Jer 17:9), we must not cease to keep our 'eyes fixed on Jesus' (Heb 12:2) depending on Christ alone as our only 'hope of glory' (Col 1:27).

For sure, Sarah teaches me that times of great faith don't exclude me from temptation (Jesus' temptations confirm that), nor does it vaccinate me against sin and failure and the deceitfulness of my own heart. (Sarah is listed in the Hebrews 11 (v11) 'great faith' chapter, and yet instigated one of the most major 'sins' of history - that has continued to the conflict between Jews and Muslims to this day). 

BUT She also teaches me through this passage though that repentance and renewed faith after failure is possible - following the Hagar/Ishmael fiasco we are told in v11 that she received power from God to conceive as she considered God faithful to His promise.

I will close by quoting the final paragraph from Challies blog post:

"Where is God asking you to simply wait and trust? Where have you lost faith, or where is your faith wavering? Where is God slow to fulfill his promises to you, slow to answer prayer, slow to grant you the gift of understanding? Look right there and you may see displaced and then misplaced faith. Look right there and you may see how you have begun to come up with your own devious plans, even plans that directly contradict the clear, revealed will of God. Look right there and you may just see an idol taking root. Look right there and plead with God to restore your faith in him and his promises."

Marriage as Mission!

I was recently reading a Gospel Coalition blogpost from which the quote below was taken.... and in the midst of the threats to, breakdown of and redefining of marriage in the 'Western' world today, I was encouraged to look at the opportunities to 'proclaim and live the truth in Jesus name' (as singer Steve Green says in his song 'the Mission' ) in the context of marriage,  and at the same time I recalled a real life situation where the truth of this quote occurred.....

Well here is the quote:

"...Christian marriage reflects God as husbands love their wives "as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word" (Eph. 5:25).

Few children today will grow up and see this love in action. Nearly half have parents who aren't even married. So we cannot be surprised they have little idea what marriage should be. Yet we respond with hope that when they meet a Christian couple, they see the difference and hear the hope of the gospel. Broken homes are a mission field. They call us first to compassion, not judgment."

At this time in our world it is so easy for Christians who still believe in the Bible's definition of marriage being faithful lifelong union between one man and one woman, to feel beaten into a corner or attacked from every side or losing grip on a fight for real marriage.  But I am challenged that once again, it is also an opportunity for Christians to not be ashamed or reluctant to be open about their support for real Biblical marriage.  It is so easy for us to get a victim mentality of 'poor us' who are being persecuted for righteousness sake.  Instead we should be having a 'great commission' mentality of 'here's another opportunity to be instruments in the Lord's hands as our strength and redeemer and light of the world'.  

Instead of bemoaning that the world is getting darker, lets be more proactive in making sure the light of Christ is shining into that darkness.  We are busy so often hiding our light under a bushel and hoping the world will stumble upon us and join us where we have the light....instead of taking that light to the world around us.

Even here in Botswana, we didn't come with the mandate to model Christian marriage....BUT...the reality that we were anyway, was brought home to us when a girl who we had first met when she was in early high school, some years later was interviewed on radio and much to our surprise, named us personally as the ones who had shown her how to have a Christian marriage since her parents' marriage  had broken down when she was a young girl.  She herself, is now married and the mother of a lovely one year old boy.

That incident was a strong reminder that young people around us from broken homes need to see and interact with homes where the Biblical standard of marriage is functioning.  Though never perfect, they need to see lived out in front of them what it means to be a godly husband, godly wife, and also a godly father (since most 1 parent homes have a mother present but no father present).  They need to see loving headship and loving submission, they need to see couples where there is a desire and hard work to have a God glorifying marriage, they need to see that although filled with lows as well as highs that are inevitable when two sinners say 'I do', that marriage as God intended is not a yoke to bear or endure or avoid, but is meant to be the most rich and rewarding relationship on this earth....and a picture of Christ and the Church.

Whether its Botswana or Australia or the UK or the USA, I am reminded that I. and every married Christian, need to not only live toward their spouse in a God honouring way, but also needs to take up the challenge to live their marriage toward our world in a God honouring way, as a wonderful opportunity of sharing Christ to a watching world.

Happy Anniversary

Sunday was our 17th Wedding Anniversary  and I decided to write a poem for my hubby as a bit of a surprise!

It's not anything profound and I wouldn't call myself an expert poet, but none-the-less I thought I'd share some of our Anniversary joy......

Happy 17th Wedding Anniversary Hubby xxxxxxx

Seventeen years, my dear hubby, you've been married to me

We've done much together, from OZ to across the sea!

High times and low times have both come our way,

But the Lord has been faithful, He's been our stay.

In months, those years number Two hundred and four,

Little did we know back then all that would be in store!

We have cried, we have laughed, together we've grown,

As we looked to the Lord, on eagles wings we have flown.

Eight hundred and eighty four weeks, we've been one.

Not just in body, giv'n each other, have we come,

But in heart, as we seek more and more through God's Son,

To bring glory to the Creator, in submission, and love.

In days, its six thousand, two hundred and five

Each one titled: "I am yours and You are mine".

We belong to each other, and both to the Lord,

Relying on Him, bound in a three strand cord.

Almost five hundred thousand, if its hours we count

As each passes, comes a further increase in amount,

In which, two sinners, joined together, trusting the King,

Pray He will grow us and use us, for blessing to bring.

Minutes and seconds while each important, are millions.

But from these tiny portions can come potent actions.

They must be guarded with caution, with care and with Christ,

His armour our protection, His Word our path's light.

Each moment together is a gift from the Lord

To be cherished with thanks and for the other outpoured.

May our life and our words bring grace that is sweet,

Till the day when in heaven we shall all bow at His feet.