They told me of a Pastor who is in the process of divorcing his wife because she has not been able to bear them any children.
In a culture where there is inherent shame in being childless, there is the added belief in many churches that God will never allow a Christian to be barren. This Pastor has obviously decided that the shame before the eyes of people around him in his culture and in his church is much greater and more important than any shame before God for choosing to divorce his wife for unbiblical reasons.
(This reminds me of the story of Hannah in the Bible, who in her great distress and sadness, and shame in her society, went to the temple to implore the Lord to answer her prayer for a child. And what happens....the priest who should have been the one to bring comfort and encouragement, piled on more shame by accusing her of being a drunk.)
The story really hit me. I personally know how hard it is to be barren and not having the joy of having one's own children by birth (or even formal adoption). My heart goes out to a woman who has to also endure the shame from her culture and her church, and now the complete rejection from her husband all because she has not been able to give birth to their child.....and to make matters worse - the very person who is supposed to be shepherding his home and his church flock and giving them the comfort and love of Christ, is the one handing out the greatest shame. Oh the pain that must be in that lady's heart. May she know the comfort of God's loving arms and her honour in Christ despite the judgement of shame by those around her.
There is also a belief we have heard articulated here that God will honour His children and His name and thus would not allow His children to be shamed in the eyes of people looking on, thus He would never deny a woman being able to give birth to a child. The problem is that a cultural understanding of what is 'honour' and what is 'shame' is superimposed onto those same terms in Scripture. I had a significant conversation with a lady just recently on this topic. She was making a decision to not return to her home country after leaving Botswana, based on the fact that she believed God would not want her to be in a situation that would be shameful in the eyes of her non-Christian relatives back home, since she was not returning home with great wealth and gifts. (we have come across this issue more than once). She believed that as a Christian not being able to fulfil cultural expectations, she would bring shame on God's name. She thought it was a very good reasoning process based on out of context verses in Scripture that say "Anyone who believes in Him will never be put to shame"(Romans 10:11).
Thankfully I had opportunity to explain that the shame that we are saved from is ultimate shame before God and others on judgement Day and for eternity, and that on this earth as Christians there are many times when we will be called to bear shame in the eyes of others for not fulfilling their expectations of us (personally or culturally). There is a need to understand biblically what it means to honour God's name. Firstly a person has to understand how God defines honouring His name. Honouring God needs to be on the basis of obedience to His word not on the basis of how we feel we should 'culturally' protect His name. We are not called to be God's protectors, but His humble obedient servants. And once again we see a need to explain that how God wants to be honoured is not disconnected from his law.
It's people like that Pastor and his wife, and my friend, who we long to have an understanding of what it means to honoured in Christ and freed from the shaming of others. We long for them to understand the truth of Scripture and experience the freedom and courage they can have in Christ.
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