Can I steal your paperclip?: Things we say...but should we?

In our global, technological and social media world, English is spoken widely. Many African children are speaking English as their first language nowdays. This means that when English is spoken it is likely to be heard far outside our cultural boundaries on an everyday basis. We have to be aware that our spoken English is not only being heard in our neighbourhood, or country. so we need to be careful to think more widely about how and where our words are going to be heard and interpreted….or mis-interpreted.  As Christians, in addition to that we should be wanting our words to be reflective of godliness.  We have to weigh our words against a Scriptural Standard.

But like all of life, it is easy to be molded by our culture more than Christ.  Instead of 'taking every thought captive unto Christ' we speak before we think, say the first thing that comes to our minds, and speak without thinking etc etc.

Living cross-culturally in a context where I don't need to know a totally different language in order to live (although sometimes it's helpful), has meant I have become more acutely aware of how 'English-ified' the world has become. But though 'English-ified, it is not with all the same 'English'!  I intereact with Australian, American, British, and South African 'first language' English Speakers day-in-day-out as well as many, many more versions of English spoken by 'second language' English speakers.  Even within such 'English' speaking contexts there is a great deal of room for mis-understanding.

But there is a greater concern on my mind and heart, in how we use our English words.

For some reason we seem to find it all too easy to use words in ways they were not meant to be used. It can be for purposes of nuances of humour, or to be trendy, or just because it has become culturally 'ok'.

What about these examples?

"Can I 'steal' your paperclip"

- do you really mean 'steal' or do you mean borrow, or do you simply need to ask if the person would be willing to give something to you?

"I happily accept 'bribes'"

On Jerry Jenkins blog - guest blogger Dr Dennis E Hensley, director of the professional writing program at Taylor University said about having a writing mentor:

I am eager to hear what you have accomplished, where you're headed, and why you feel I might be of help. Also, like most mentors, I'm open to bribes.☺As my friend, author and editor Lin Johnson, tells students at my college, "It's always nice to send a nice thank you letter to editors—and chocolate."

- is it a bribe or is it saying thankyou?  A bribe is something you give before the event and for the purposes of trying to induce the person to do something they are not required to do, or they shouldn't do because it is wrong and if they were found out they would be in trouble. Giving a gift of your freewill after an event, with no expectation put on you of size or amount, as an expression of your gratitude and appreciation, is something entirely different. Neither is a genuine reward offered following good service, a bribe. Bribery is done with the purpose of hiding it from general view, thankfulness and reward is done openly in full general view.

"What's the latest 'gossip'?"

- do you really mean to say 'what is the latest news?' Gossip is information that is slanderous, or uncesessary,  or destructive, or untrue?  Sharing wholesome news such as the news of the birth of a friend's baby is not gossip.

"That was one really 'wicked' apple pie" (meaning good)

- again do you mean 'wicked' or 'good'? Just because some portions of society find it popular and 'hip' or 'trendy' to use opposites to describe something doesn't mean it is helpful or wise especially when we are referring to such basic elements related to God who is good, and Satan and man's sinful hearts that are wicked.  We don't want to be calling something wicked that is actually good.

"I am so 'jealous' of you going on your trip"  (or envious) 

- Are you really jealous or envious (maybe you are and you need to deal with that at a heart level of repentance), or maybe you are just wanting to say how thrilled you are for the person to be going on the trip as it sounds so wonderful? It's ok to rejoice with those who rejoice, but its not ok to be covetous/envious/jealous.

- using the words 'jealous' or 'envy' is not a good idea as it both conveys a wrong meaning as well as actually stirring up a slant in our hearts that is more of a coveting nature than a 'happy for you' nature. One helps our hearts focus on God and others, while the other hinders our hearts from focusing where they should and pushes our hearts to focus on ourselves.

"I'm so 'proud' of you"

- Is it ever right to be 'proud'?  Are you truly proud in such a situation or more 'happy' or 'pleased' or 'honoured' or 'thankful'?  Is there another word you should be using? Like with 'envy', the use of a word that has strong association with an attitude that is condemned in Scripture again and again, is not necessarily the best use of words.  It's 'culturally normal' but is it necessary or godly?  God says He opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble.

What other ones can you think of?  I'd love to hear from you in the comments below….

Watching our words is hard work. In fact it can be mentally exhausting! But its part of 'working out our salvation', and 'striving' and 'taking every thought captive unto Christ'. 

It's easy to believe the Christian life is about other cultures needing to change, but we have to be willing to look at our own cultural ways……and be prepared to change…..and be prepared to be ridiculed or shamed for making the effort to be careful with our words! But our effort is not in our own strength...Christ is the strength of our labour and the source of our strength. 

How about you?  Are you willing to take up the challenge to watch your words and walk worthy of your Saviour?