Pride...Is it ever ok to be Proud? Part 3

In continuation of Part 1 and Part 2 of this blog post on ‘Pride’, here are the final two categories for us to begin to think about as alternatives for our cultural terminology….

3. Pride vs Privilege/Blessing/Honour
What about 'house-proud'? As a woman and a wife, I am very aware that there can be pressure from others to be 'house proud', to keep the house clean and tidy. But this issue is not really any different from the boy playing sport.  If we are to do ‘all’ - everything - to the glory of God, then even keeping house should be done to the glory of God.  This is not about keeping house according to the expectations of others, but according to how God wants your home to be.  Sometimes with kids around it will have times when it is looks messy, and a house that is truly a ‘home’ is going to looked lived in rather than a display piece. This is about honouring God in how you love and care for your family, and the possessions God has given.

Again, also in regard to national pride, to some degree we equate national pride with national loyalty - this is honour language.  What we honour, we will be loyal to.  But Honour should reflect our privilege and blessing in being whatever nationality we are, not pride in our rights.  Our loyalty should stem from a desire to honour from a heart of thankfulness.  We might say we feel ‘proud’ to be associated with whatever nationality we are, but we might do better to use the words ‘blessed’ or ‘honoured’.

The words we hear and use will mold the beliefs we live by.  Let’s choose our words carefully.

When we use words that don't do the best in properly explaining truth in Godly ways and instead speak in normal 'cultural' ways,  I feel concerned that we not only entrench possibly ungodly cultural patterns, but we also miss out on the opportunity to use words to turn our hearts to the truth and joy that glorifies God.

Pride is a word which can so easily be confused with honour.  Or should I say, the concept of honour can all too easily be infused with pride, and twisted and mis-placed to become pride.  Honour in God’s scheme of things is meant to be something we receive from him, and thus give back to him and others. Pride is focused more on attributing acclaim to ourselves. Both the source and the focus is sinfully misplaced. Even when we say ‘I am proud of you’, we are ever so subtly moving the person’s ‘who should I please’ off God and onto people….and we are only a tiny step away from often then saying the additional words ‘you should be proud of yourself’.

Although, the word 'proud' or 'pride' is part of the words associated with honour, and the word 'honour' is even used in the dictionary to try to describe 'pride' as it links it with self-esteem and self-worth, it is not a word or concept approved of by God.

I suspect a great deal of the use of our word ‘pride’ is because the West has steered away from honour dynamics in the last century. But the reality of the dynamic didn’t vanish in our lives just because we avoided honour terminology. So apart from a natural bent to the sinful and self-focused distortion of honour that we see in ‘pride’, we also ended up using it as the closest honour-word that was socially ‘acceptable’ to express ‘legitimate’ honour….but in the process, using the distorted concept of pride pushes our minds and attitudes, and thus actions, further into the mire of a sinful distortion of honour, rather than the legitimate dynamic. ‘Pride’ terminology pushes us away from focus on God and others, to focus on ourself.

[8]

If someone wins an Olympic medal - an honour - they could have it hung around their neck with an attitude of pride and 'I did this, I trained hard so its my right after all, I deserve this and this should get me noticed in the world and land me a good job'.

OR 

they could receive it with thankfulness for their giftedness and humility as they know how much others have also sacrificed and contributed to the achievement.  

For the average recipient, it is probably a mix of the two.

But there is a difference between the two.  God says true honour is received through humility.

Yet, the world says to take pride in one's own hard work.

And here lies the difference - one is about 'receiving a gift' and the other is about 'taking a right'.

1 Corinthians 4:7 reminds us: 

"Who makes you differ from another? And what do you have that you did not receive? Now if you did indeed receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it"

The word and concept of Pride evokes and promotes a focus on 'me'. I don't receive pride from anyone or give pride to anyone, it’s a self-ascribed status of exaltation.

Whereas true 'honour' is something that involves 'others'.  Honour is received and given, and reliant on the presence of another.

Maybe the word 'pride' is also reflective of our Western 'individualistic' emphasis and thus our promotion of the concept of self-esteem.  But of course if you take God out of the equation for life, as the West has, and only leave others and yourself, and you don't want to be defined by others or reliant on others for dignity, who is left?....only self.  Thus our world promotes 'pride' and 'self-esteem'.

Let's use the example of being 'house proud’ - if we take care of our home 'as to the Lord’ and honour Him as the goal, when someone gives us praise and honour for a homey looking house, it is humbly received and we thank the Lord for the opportunity to honour Him and His name in this way.

But if we are busy keeping our home spotless so that others will notice and so we can get the praise we desire and the acceptance and approval of others so we are not 'looked down upon', then we will expect others to notice and congratulate us and we will be disappointed if they don't or if they criticize some minor lack.  We might even point out things in our home that we wish others would comment on. I know how easily I can be tempted to go down that road! Instead of desiring that our home blesses others, we hope it blesses us!  This then becomes a ‘right’ we demand, and is more about wanting, expecting and taking prideful ‘honour’, rather than receiving it gratefully.  True honour is a gift and stirs a response of thankfulness.  False honour is sought and taken as gain and revealed in pride.

False self-honour - ie. pride -  also leads to a sense that "I have done well" or "I did a good job" instead of a simple trust and thankfulness in the Lord.  It can also lead to subtle idolatry, where other aspects of what God wants us to do and be are put aside so as to achieve the sense of 'house-proud-ness'.  This can also then flow on to judging others who don't attain your level of tidiness or decor.

The subtle mis-use of this word can reflect just how much our culture can unconsciously dominate our thinking and infiltrate our relationships.

But when we bring true honour into our relationships with others, we bring dignity and value and love and care.  Let’s not forget to 'Honour everyone' (1 Pet 2:17) and to 'outdo one another in showing honour’ in a right God-honouring way (Romans 12:10).

4. Pride vs Courage
Like in the photo earlier in Part 2, of the Billboard promoting circumcision, we can easily confuse pride with courage.  However, we don't have to rely on sinful 'me' pride to gain the motivation to do what is right.  It requires courage to do what is right. It requires courage to make a choice which is different from others. It takes courage to do what may not be approved or affirmed by others. It takes courage to go against peer pressure no matter what age we are. But we don't have to be 'proud' that we have courage….yet we will be if we exclude our Creator.

When God is part of our lives, to have courage is to be bold enough to step out trusting Him for honour and acceptance and success, rather than seeking human or earthly means of achievement, approval and acceptance.

God told Joshua to be 'strong and courageous', not because he could be proud of himself if he took on the challenge ahead of him, but because his confidence was in the Lord who would be with him wherever he went in accordance with God's promises, His call on his life and the Law of God. (Joshua 1:7-9)

Courage which stems from trust in the Lord and in His mighty power results in thankfulness rather than pride.  It reminds us He is our strength and enabling and without Him we ‘can do nothing’ (John 15:5).

So…

…it is interesting to note that Ezekiel 24:21 & 24:25 are almost identical verses - except for the fact that the words God gave Ezekiel to say in each place swap the use of the word for ‘pride’ in the first instance with 2 different words - ‘joy and glory [honour]’ - in the second instance.  Maybe this is also demonstrating the joy and honour nuances of the ‘pride’ dynamic - that pride is having joy and glory in oneself - in other words pride is a misplaced joy and a misplaced glory [honour] and a joy and glory that we take for ourselves and what is important to us, instead of giving it to God.

This shows us directly from the mouth of God that we can have reason to look more towards alternative ‘joy’ and ‘glory[honour]’ vocabulary, to replace the ‘positive’ ways in which we culturally want to use the term ‘pride’.

So… I'd like to encourage you to join me in a counter-cultural journey of ’striving with His energy’ (Colossians 1:29) to replace our cultural terminology with biblical truth, to enable our words and conversation to reflect God's hatred for pride but his love for virtues that please him and bring Him glory.

Let's then also help others learn and grow… in joy, honour, thankfulness and courage!

[8] photo taken by myself of the page from the Collins Dictionary and Thesaurus in One Volume, Ed William T McLeod, Collins, 1987, p78