Truth Seeking and Truth Speaking - Part 2 Truth Speaking

TRUTH SPEAKING

In our obsession about 'fact checking' and exposing so-called lies of politicians and leaders, society not only reveals that we seek truth but that we desire others to 'speak truth'. While we might have some trouble defining what that actually means and looks like, truth speaking is what God calls us to, even if people mis-understand what that means.

In our mixed up world which seems to have lost an understanding of what truth even is, there is still a desire that other people speak truth to us. 

But for that to happen we all have to be part of speaking truth.

This should be obvious to the Christian. 

But the next issue is then, what does it mean to speak the truth?

First of all to speak the truth we have to seek the truth and know the truth…which we covered some of in Part 1 on 'Truth Seeking'

To Speak the truth 

- to be able to speak the truth as God desires, we must value honesty not just harmony in our desire to honour God and others. We may want to 'preserve peace' or we may yearn for a perfect world without pride, selfishness or conflict. But the perfect world is yet to come for the Christian, and in this world conflict will happen. If we avoid honesty just to preserve harmony and avoid conflict we will end up with 'truth-subversion', lies flourishing, and relationships that we try to preserve will in the end be undermined. So sometimes true peace-making means first 'fake-peace' breaking.

But this does not mean speaking truth with no thought for how we do that. Between the 'what' and the 'who' of truth spoken about in Part 1, there is also a 'how' we speak truth, 'when' we speak truth and most importantly 'why' we speak truth.

1. The 'How' we speak truth:

With Love

God tells us in Scripture that we are not just to speak truth, but to speak truth with love

is this saying?:

Speak truth to others... but make sure to do it with love, so that whatever you say is lovingly said

or is it saying?:

Love others….but make sure to doing it without compromising the speaking of truth…..remembering love rejoices in the truth (1 Cor 13)

….either way, both are supposed to be together -

 ...truth doesn't mean love goes out the window, and love doesn't mean truth is avoided!

Truly honouring God and others means both are present. 

Often culturally we err on either the 'honesty' side or the 'harmony' side, and we can feel like we lack the strength to do the part we are not culturally used to experiencing. But in God's culture, he can enable us through his indwelling Holy Spirit to learn and do 'life' and 'truth-telling' in new God-honouring ways.

With Boldness and Courage

Sometimes we can sadly be brash and harsh with our truth-telling, but sometimes we can avoid it all-together because we fear what others might think or how they might react. Speaking truth might be uncomfortable and make us unpopular no matter how gentle we strive to be (just read the Major and Minor prophets to see repeated evidence of that). 

Truth-speaking will often require boldness and courage along with gentleness, as we trust God and step out to speak trusting him in the consequences of speaking. But sometimes, it can also take courage not to speak at a particular time, and just to wait rather than rush into a conversation or push with one's own opinion.

In the face of persecution the early Christians prayed for boldness and then in the strength of the Holy Spirit courageously spoke the truth with boldness (Acts 4:29-31). The Apostle Paul asked others to pray for him for boldness (Eph 6:19) - this was not a proud brash boldness but a thoughtful humble boldness that comes from confidence not in ourselves but in God and in his truth.

With understanding

Love in action means realising that the other person hearing us might see life differently, from different perspectives, experiences, family history, cultural norms, and theology and…and…and…  This then colours how the words we say are interpreted, even if they are truth. 

Seeking to be understood not just 'heard' means making effort to ensure what is said is understood the way it was intended. It takes humility and a willingness to also hear what another person means by what they say. Speaking from hard-earned experience….in our multi-cultural world that all uses 'English' we can seriously mis-understand how a word is used or meant. How we understand each other initially might need correction, as we persevere in listening and conversing with each other.

This not only all needs diligence and practice, but above all it needs the Holy Spirit of Truth to be producing the Fruit of the Spirit in us enabling patience and gentleness etc. Oh how, easily our own zeal or goals can get in the way…but as we learn to more and more lean on the Lord for his wisdom it should be our prayer that we become mouldable vessels in the Potter's hands for His glory, in truth speaking with love and understanding.

Taking time

It can take time to come alongside someone in loving, listening conversation in order to share truth, rather than just hitting them with it head-on. 

Speaking truth can mean a long slow road of leading someone from one nugget of thought to the next, giving them time to absorb, process and address the consequences of each element of truth for their life. Truth is not just abstract facts. Truth is life-challenging, life-impacting and life-changing, and change is not always easy - especially when it involves adjusting long held beliefs on which a person has founded their life choices and directions.

Revealing truth will also often involve exposing lies believed, and that can be painful and shameful….and never underestimate the power of shame and the fear of shame in people resisting truth no matter how obviously 'true' it is. Patiently and kindly giving time to speak truth with love and understanding, gives space for people to process not just the facts of the truth but the emotions that go along with the impact that truth has on long held beliefs.

2. The 'When' we speak truth:

When you or I speak, it is always right to speak the truth, but sometimes it's not the right time to speak in the first place (Ecc 3:7)

Just because something is true, doesn't mean it should be said, or said right away, or said the way you or I were first going to say it. This is a life-long learning process - don't I know it!

God's word tells us to take every thought captive unto Christ (2 Cor 10:5), we are to speak kindly, gently, helpfully, in order to build up and not just tear down (Ephesians 4:29), we are to speak in such a way that as much as it depends on us it will promote peace (Romans 12:18), but we are also to speak boldly and not fear man and not put obedience to people above obedience to God.

Even with the sin of others, sometimes it's right to confront it, sometimes it should be overlooked for now. And we might need to deal rigorously with our own 'logs' before we gently address other's 'specks'. We might have to wait in order to speak privately first and not unduly shame (Matt 18:15-17, Gal 6:1), and we should be mindful that we are all 'works in progress' as to our sanctification, and step by step growing from one degree of glory to another (2 Cor 3:18) as we learn more what it means to grow in grace.

A little phrase that I was once told was:

Is it true?

Is it kind? 

Is it necessary…

...if not don't say it. 

See Ephesians 4:25-32.

This factor of 'when' can take much wisdom that's for sure. And we won't always get it right of course…we are all learning and growing…but let us pray to have Godly wisdom to humbly speak truth God's way, in God's timing.

3. The 'Why' we speak truth

• The primary reason of course is that God commands it.

• But it is also for our own protection and sanity. When we speak the truth it means we don't have to wonder what we said to whom and when. If we always speak the truth, then we don't have to 'manage' all our conversations in order to keep up our deceptions or pretence. Lying is stressful and exhausting in the course of life, in having to remember to whom you told what, but then also that lies have to be normally covered with more lies.

• Also if we speak the truth when we speak, others come to trust what we say. ie…we prove trustworthy and faithful. Thus we allow (rather than hinder/quench) the Spirit of Truth to produce his fruit in us. This builds confidence in relationships, in the workplace and family, in the church and in the community. This might mean not just repeating what others tell us or is sent in emails or appears in the media, until we check whether it is true or not. If we become known as being particular and careful that what comes out of our mouth or keyboard is true, as much as we can be sure it's true, then it builds a good relationship for sharing the truth of the gospel. If we are known to often exaggerate, or not be careful to repeat data accurately, or what others tell us or we hear in a meeting or read in a book accurately, or be happy to be 'about right' rather than careful to 'be right' in what we speak, when we try to say something important that we truly are sure of, we are less likely to be taken seriously. We might even need to stop mid-sentence after saying something and clarify with 'well actually having said that I'm not totally certain on that point but I'm fairly sure I'm recalling the situation to the best of my recollection, but I might be wrong'. Such 'additions' to conversation not only build trust but also show humility and people will always be willing to trust someone who is humble over someone who is more concerned with their pride.

• This world is looking for reliability, trustworthiness, and honesty, which was highlighted in a recent article about Qantas and its struggles with keeping up with post-COVID demand 

• Hamish McLean, a crisis communication expert from Griffith University, argues Qantas's image will take a hit in the eyes of customers unless the company "owns the problem", notwithstanding the fact that many of the variables are global and out of Qantas's direct control.  "A fundamental part of protecting your brand is that people want to see that you're saying "yes, this is our problem"," he says. "It might be due to factors globally. But really, it comes down to the organisation and how they are managing the problem."  

• We shouldn't promise big when you can't deliver big. We have to be willing to be humble about our inadequacies, problems, and failures and show we can be realistic about limitations... and thus only 'promise' what there is true possibility of delivering. …better to under-promise and over-perform than over-promise and under-perform…but its usually our pride [self-honour] and fear of failure and shame that motivates us to 'over-promise'  …which ultimately stems from thinking too highly of ourselves (Romans 12:3). Our hunger for honour is not some abstract concept on the theological shelf, its a real every day issue that can impact the smallest child in the playground to the CEO of one of the world's biggest companies and airlines. When it is misplaced and pride plus fear of shame drives our decisions more than careful humble honest planning and communication, there might be trouble up-ahead.

• Communication that strives to make people happy and hopeful doesn't achieve long term success if not built firmly on humble honesty. In Qantas' case and Heathrow airport's current numbers cap, there is a reality that not everyone can travel and go on holiday when they want. And…we need to be thankful rather than disappointed or angry when companies like Qantas can't do everything people want immediately, and encourage them to communicate honestly and rebuild honourably and safely. We should be ones to encourage truth-telling by our reactions, not discouragers of it by our responses.

4. And the 'to Whom' we speak truth.

This should be obvious in that we always speak truth to everyone….of course…but who are the 'everyone'. It's not just other people, but also ourselves, and God. 

We should be truth speakers to God - in prayer

• We have no problem with the 'when' of this one as we can and should be always free to talk to the Lord at any time, at all times! But there are times when we are tempted to 'pretend' even with God, who knows our hearts and our thoughts. Being truthful with God will never upset him. This doesn't mean we don't have to control our tongues and take our thoughts captive unto Christ before we blurt out the depths of our heart, but it does mean as we process our hearts and thoughts, even that is not meant to be done on our own. It's meant to be done in a God-glorifying truth speaking way that includes God in the process…just look at the Psalms for a multitude of examples of how to do that.

• But sometimes in the light of knowing that God loves truth and wants truth and is not afraid or threatend by truth, the first step to being honest with God is being willing to be honest with ourselves. But this is an honesty that is only fully possible when we know we are in the eyes and arms of our loving Heavenly Father, who is not going to shame us for honouring him in honesty and trust. When we trust him, we are free to be honest with ourselves which then allows us to be further honest with him.

We should speak truth to ourselves - we probably do more lying to ourselves than to anybody. 

The world and psychology tells us that we should tell ourselves 'affirmations' like 'you are good', 'you are beautiful', 'you are wonderful', 'you have a great body' and so on. Sadly, in a world that forgets God and in ever increasing measure cuts itself off from meaningful godly face-to-face relationships, people lose a sense of inherent human value. They also have no answers for the realities of worthlessness and failure that sin has brought. So they find false substitutes and recite affirmations and believe the hollow lies which the world speaks that promise 'hope'.

Instead God tells us that the truth about the very honour/dignity we seek, is not to be found in ourselves but in God, through Christ. We are not to have false high opinion of ourselves in order to feel valued and special, but we are to let go of seeking that for ourselves (which is pride), and in so doing, find it in greater measure than the world can ever offer, when we find it in Christ. We have been carefully created (John 1:1-16) and lovingly chosen and redeemed (Ephesians 1:3-14). True joy, peace, confidence and honour is found in Him.

We should be truth speakers to others

• When we speak to others, often it is about ourselves. Even in this we have to be careful to speak truth - with honesty and humility, without fascade or pretense, but also wisdom as to when, and to whom, to speak it…not everyone wants or needs to know everything about you even if its true - that's God's role to want you to talk to him about everything.

• We should speak the truth to others in all our day to day conversation (whether verbal, email, text message or whatever), whether its relaying details in the context of our lives, or about the circumstances of our world, or when we quote others. 

• But we should also speak the truth of the good news of Christ, the Saviour for sin…..the most important truth-speaking of all. The truth sets people free from the bondage of lies, and the truth of the gospel sets people free from the bondage of the greatest lies - that they aren't sinners, or that they don't need a saviour, or that there is no saviour except themselves, or that psychology, or government, or having more money, or drugs, or suicide, or….or…or some other destructive lie will save them. Let us pray for such opportunities for gospel truth speaking, as we point folks to the One who is 'the way, the truth, and the life' (John 14:6), and not be afraid to do so with wisdom and love, and to recognise those opportunities and be ready for them.

There is much for us to learn and grow in pursuing our truth-speaking - and there has been much that I have been reminded and challenged about as I pondered on this topic yet again. In a world that is confused about what truth even is, but as people indwelt by the Spirit of Truth, let us strive to be beacons of loving truth.

May Christians be those who 

are careful, 

and diligent, 

and eager, 

to speak truth, in word and deed, 

to a watching, listening, needy world.