Is there such a thing as Constructive Shame?

Shame is something in our world that doesn't have any 'good' connotations about it.

Shame researcher Brene Brown says there is no such thing as good shame or shame that is needed.  I have learnt a great deal from her research, but at this point I am at significant variance.

There is definitely shame that is needed - shame for sin is needed and is 'right shame'.  It's that kind of shame that God actually specialises in removing, if we let Him.  We don't have to ignore it, repress it, refuse it, or hide it or even just try harder to be 'resilient' to it.  That shame is meant to be acknowledged in full, but brought to the cross to be remedied with forgiveness, reconciliation and honour.

But twice in the last month I have had brought to my attention a way that God can use 'wrong shame' - the shame that is mis-placed and used as a tool of the devil to steal joy, kill acceptance and destroy relationships with our fellow human beings.

The first was part of devotional by Joni Eareckson Tada in her book "Pearls of Great Price" a few weeks back, and the second was just today as I stumbled across something from Martin Luther in the book  'The Oxford Book of Martin Luther's Theology' ed Robert Kolb, 2014.

Here's the Martin Luther quote first:

"All life's disruptions – war, pestilence, poverty, shame – can become voices of the law.  They may not accuse, but they crush by making clear the dependence of victims of other people's sins or natural evils on something beyond the false gods on which they had been relying."

And from Joni:

'Idols put us to shame.....whenever we feel ashamed. Shame is what exposes the things you idolize. Imagine having coffee with a new friend.  As the conversation flows, you feel witty and interesting.  Your friend seems fascinated, which only makes you pleased as punch with yourself.  But then you knock your cup and spill coffee all over your white shirt.  Everyone turns their heads, and instead of laughing it off, you feel stupid and silly.  What a jerk I am !  I want to crawl into a hole.

What idol did the feeling of shame and embarrassment expose.  Pride in appearance?  Smug self-confidence in conversational skills?  An inflated idea of importance? You were hoping  to come across as clever and winsome, but a little spilled coffee washed away your self-confidence exposing a hidden idol.  God has engineered our sense of shame to reveal those things, people, or vocations we idolize.  But once our idols are unearthed we can more easily do away with them.'

She goes on to say: 'The next time your cheeks turn red with shame, ask yourself, "What idol is my embarrassment revealing?" Once its knocked off the shelf of your heart, toss it.  Keep your heart clean of idols.  And then pray...Father forgive me for woshipping anything or anyone--especially myself--above you.  Teach me to recognize shame as your way of exposing the idols in my life.'

Our sense of shame before the eyes of other people, actually exposes the greater shame before the eyes of God - of idolatry.  But its not an exposure to increase our shame and stop there, its an exposure to reveal the true shame to get us to the point of submitting our hearts to God in repentance and thus then knowing His forgiveness, and removal of shame where it counts most.  Shame is removed because Jesus took it on the cross. Jesus took our shame, so that He could share with us His honour.  We need to be depending on God for honour, not relying on the false gods of our world.

What Satan and his 'children' on this earth desire for evil and destruction, God can and will use for His honour and glory and our good if we let him....even shame!