In fact, for me, the issue of our infertility is probably one of the hardest ongoing emotional issues of serving as missionaries overseas - ie its an area where I am challenged time and again to trust God. This is because it has meant that the 'gap' of no kids in our home seems all the greater when we also have not had the privilege of being around any of our nieces or nephews as they have grown up either. And it means that as we move along in years, in years to come the family relationships that would have been the strongest, that of our own kids, won't be one that will be there for us.
This has been one of the greatest tests for me to again and again choose the God-focused priority of eternity over the man-focused temporal issues, and entrusting our needs to our Heavenly Father.
It's again and again choosing to rest in the fact that God has called us to a task that in many ways could not have been done the way it has, if we had kids.
It is again and again reminding myself of the fact that God chose to bring us together as husband and wife knowing what plans He had for us, knowing that some kids here in Botswana needed to have a mum and dad for a period in their lives, and knowing that He was able to give me the strength to entrust our future to Him. And in it He has given us some very rich and special joys (as well as some of the deepest struggles) of being 'parents'. We often say we skipped the 'nappies' (diapers) and went straight to the teenage problems! - we landed well and truly in the deep end first!
And again and again in it all, thanking Him for taking our uniqueness as infertile, and for His unique purposes of giving us the privilege of spiritually parenting several dear souls here in Botswana who will join us one day at the Marriage supper of the Lamb. Because above all, as much as we long for it to be our own flesh and blood who look up into our eyes and call us mum and dad, we even more desire that many here on the edge of the Kalahari Desert may come to the place of being able to look to their Creator and say "Abba Father"!
(In case you are wondering, our infertility is actually most probably a situation of two people with fertility issues being brought together. My husband has a physical condition called Klinefelter Syndrome - a genetic condition that affects 1 in 500 males, causing him to be infertile, and I have had issues with very very low ovulation - so as hard as it is, (and it is still hard), we can see God's purposes in the way he allowed us to be formed in our mother's wombs so that instead of raising our own babies, He could call us to be busy being mum and dad to those who needed one, as well as enabling spiritual babies to be born and grow here in Africa)
......and the baby in the photo is our first African 'grand-child' when she was about 8 months old.
here is another blogpost I recommend in regard to infertility and loving those couples who are infertile, in a God glorifying way....
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